Playing with Fire
by pagetbabe
Summary: Hoping for a fresh start is in vain when your past is unresolved.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi people ! This story was on my mind since long time ago. It will show my point of view of when Emily was undercover as Lauren Reynolds. But this is a Demily story. If you don't ship Ian and Emily/Lauren, be a little patient because from chapter 12, it will start a great Demily romance story. I hope you like it.**

**I own nothing**

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"Are you sure you want to do this?"

She tried to hide all her insecurities and doubts by totally cutting eye contact and gathering the papers about that dangerous operation. She would have to read and re-read them at home.

"It's the job, isn't it?"

"Uh… yes… but you didn't have to accept… I mean, you have already accepted and stuff but if you want to give up…"

She cut him off.

"I am not giving up. Was there anything else you wanted to say? I need to go home."

He knew about her stubbornness from way back and he never succeeded, not even a little, in making her change her mind about anything.

She was strong, independent, confident, brave, fearless and a noble soul, so, from the moment this important mission had been brought to her, she didn't even give it a second thought. She just agreed.

It was already late at night and she was still learning everything she could about Doyle's life and everything she had to do to trap him. She was very comfortable on the couch, in her satin robe, drinking a glass of whiskey. She knew that this would not be an easy task at all but she was willing to do it, to do her best and everything that was expected from her.

It was past midnight and all the papers were scattered on the couch, she was staring at a black and white photo of the man. Jumping into Lauren's skin, she started to kind of caress his face on the photo. She allowed herself to see the man and only the man.

She would play Lauren, the woman that would fight for the heart of a man with all her weapons, figuratively speaking, yes, because Lauren would never have to use a real gun. Her other attributes were much more interesting and powerful.

She would finally be able to set free the hot, sexy and seductive woman who always lived inside of her. She would be able for the first time to let her heart be her guide. She knew that on this hazardous path, love would be nothing more than a tragic accident, but she had never risked so much in her love life. Now she had found out the perfect opportunity to leave the backstage of her life and be the main star of her own existence. She was getting another chance.

Hours later with her head on the pillow, she was mentally struggling against the fact that she knew very well Lauren would not be living a fairy tale. She wouldn't be the Princess of his castle, on the contrairy. But Lauren would love him, she would surrender herself to that man, she would have to make it real, and do things that her skin had never done. At least, if Lauren didn't survive this, she would have lived fully, she would have experience love. She tried to sleep refusing to face the fact that her love life had been so boring for the last few years that she was getting excited to join this dangerous operation.

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At work:

"For me? I can't remember you ever being so nice. Thank you."

"Oh, Emily, don't be unfair. I always bring you coffee."

"Yeah… but not with this sweet smile and this needy puppy face…"

She said this and it was more like a question. She kept looking at him as if waiting for him to speak, embarrassing him even more.

He also wasn't the kind of person used to show any emotions. It was a very awkward and difficult situation for him. But she kept looking at him so he had to confess.

"I…I am worried about you…"

She laughed.

"The guy is a terrorist! He is a really dangerous person… I think you should just tell Sean that you changed your mind…"

She stopped laughing but she was still trying to find the situation funny.

"You think I can't do this?"

"I'm not saying this… but if he suspects anything, you're dead."

"You won't let this happen, right?" She provoked.

"Emily… I am serious, I know how good you're at your job and how competent you are and everything… but the guy will not hesitate to kill you."

She approached him, and got very very close to his face, so close the he could feel her breath. She opened two buttons of her blouse making him instantly look at her cleavage.

"You think?"

He was so stunned by this small act (of her) that he didn't even remember what he had asked. Of course she smiled at this.

"Wow… this is so…. Not you!"

Buttoning her blouse again, she said:

"This is not 'me'. This is Lauren."

"Bloody hell… Poor man." He said referring to Ian Doyle.

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And there she was: beautiful, seductive, charming, perfumed, but surrounded by the smoke of her lit cigarette. Ready to make him fall for her, to live a madness that couldn't even imagine in her worse nightmares, ready to surrender herself not only to him, but to life. But also ready to make mistakes that she never imagined herself making, to get away from the perfection and take more risks. Not that her job in itself wasn't risky, but it wasn't the same thing now. She wanted more, she wanted to risk her heart, to fall in love with someone, to live her life fully. She was one of those people who lived reasonably, but superficially. But through Lauren, she would finally 'soak' in life, loving deeply and enjoying every minute of it. Would she be the victim? Or would he?

"…Lauren Reynolds… This is the guy I told you about…"

"…He told me everything but a name…" She said as she reached her hand to him.

"Ian Doyle… Pleasure…" He said as he could not take his eyes of her.

"I love being the man... bringing people together. Have fun, kids."

"Jack told me you were provisional IRA…"

"Used to be…Then the peace accord happened… Now I gotta look for work like everybody else."

"Except… Ian. That's a protestant name, isn't it? Not a lot of protestants in the IRA …Or is that how you proved you were a good fighter ? Defending your mother for giving you that name?"

"And what is it you do, Lauren ?"

"Right now I'm trying to get into business with a former IRA Captain. He's gone freelance, you might have heard of him…Valhalla."

"Yeah…I might know him."

"Well… Since this is sensitive, est ce qu'on peut parler en privé ?" _*It might be better to discuss this privately.*_

"Tu es pleine de surprises dit donc." _*You're just full of surprises, aren't you?*_

"Si tu savais." _*You have no idea*_ She smiled devilishly at him.

"So, let's just get out of here…"

From this moment, she knew that there was no way back: she was now Lauren Reynolds.

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**Thanks for reading and a comment is always welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing**

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"Well… Since this is sensitive, est ce qu'on peut parler en privé ?" _*It might be better to discuss this privately.*_

"Tu es pleine de surprises dit donc." _*You're just full of surprises, aren't you?*_

"Si tu savais." _*You have no idea*_ She smiled devilishly at him.

"So, let's just get out of here…"

From this moment, she knew there was no going back: she was Lauren Reynolds.

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Entering the second SUV, she couldn't help but notice Liam's suspicious glare on her, but preferred to treat this as mutual antipathy.

Ian was comfortably seated in the backseat, not as close to her as he wished. "So, why are you looking for Valhalla?"

She looked at Liam, who was driving, then back at him, her beautiful eyes totally hypnotizing him. She muttered, in her most flirty voice. "I thought that we'd discuss this in private…" She licked her lips, driving him crazy.

He smiled instantly, loosing eye contact in an attempt to hide how fascinated he was.

Ian Doyle was a very experienced man who knew a lot about women and how to woo them. But right here, right now, near that woman, he felt something new. He felt something he'd never felt before, something so strong he couldn't define it. And that scared him. A man like him, powerful, always in control, couldn't take the risk of losing his mind to a women.

He could feel the heat of her body just sitting by her side. It was like a fever of desire in the air. He knew it was time to just let things happens naturally.

The chemistry between them was undeniably mutual from the beginning, from the first smile, the first touch. But for now, he'd keep his feelings to himself. He wouldn't hand her over the game so easily. He knew she was far from being a naive innocent girl, and that behind that sly smile and tose captivating eyes, were hidden secrets never revealed before. Question was, would he be the one to unveil them?

She had been told how to dress and behave, what to say, when to speak, how to talk and walk. But there was a wall Interpol couldn't break down: they couldn't control her feelings. She was a woman! Yes, she was there on a mission. And yes, she was there to fulfill orders. She was following scripts thoroughly studied and prepared to make the plan work the way they wanted, but she wasn't a robot. And behind the dedicated and competent professional that she was, there was a woman.

With this in mind, she was there with him being simply herself. Sometimes surprised by her own small gestures, like a bolder look, a malicious smile, or her hand spontaneously touching his knee while they were talking. Yes, this definitely wasn't Emily Prentiss, or was it ?

Seduction was her main weapon , but she didn't need to make any extra effort. She only had to be herself. She only had to set free her emotions before repressed, controlled and forgotten. She knew that love and sex were totally independent and different impulses. But facing this man, she was beginning to mentally pray to be able to detach sex from love.

Analyzing her love life after a tragic initial start leaving her pregnant at such a young age, she didn't recalled having been fully involved with anyone. She didn't remember having loved someone. She was still waiting to experience it all. But would fate be so cruel ? Making her fall in love with the only person she couldn't, a terrorist ?

The car stopped in front of the most expensive hotel in Boston and they were led into an elevator. The elevator door opened on the top floor. They got out and the only suite there was his. He opened the door and as a gentleman waited for her to enter.

Before stepping in, she looked at him. Knowing how dangerous he was, she was a little afraid. But she also knew that this restlessness in her stomach could be confounded with butterflies.

The suite was huge, 300 square feet or so. She came from a wealthy family, she was raised in wealth, so maybe she'd never noticed those things before. But now in that hotel room, with expensive furnitures, sculptures and pictures everywhere, she was flabbergasted. She was looking around while he served them some champagne. He approached her with two crystal glasses and a mysterious smile.

"Thank you…" She said, looking straight at him as if wanting to unveil his secrets.

Still without breaking eye contact, he offered his crystal goblet for a toast.

Not wanting to play with fire, she cut eye contact. She knew she had more to lose with all the hings she was hiding. Her life would be the price to pay if he suspected anything.

She then walked to the huge balcony from where they could see the whole city. He was right behind her.

"Wow… look at this view… it's… beautiful."

After a few minutes of silence.

"You're lucky. I don't usually bring people here. Especially someone that I don't know anything about." He said staring at the view.

"I know nothing about you as well…" "…and I'm here." She replied, speaking slowly, just like a snake about to pounce, without looking at him. Because in reality, she knew everything she could possibly know about his life.

"You must know something about me, as you were waiting for me at that bar."

"Jack told me that we could perhaps make business together. I didn't even knew your name beforehand."

"He told me something like that too..."

She had both her elbows on the huge parapet of concrete, looking at the beautiful view, when she felt his body coming to stand only a few centimeters behind her. She could feel the heat of his body and the feel of his breathe on the back of her neck.

She felt a chill and didn't know if it was from fear or desire. They had only met a few hours ago but it felt like days. She was still in control of her actions, but not of her feelings and this was her main fear. Because in the end, if everything went well and he was arrested, who but her would suffer if she fell madly in love with him?

Still with her backs to him, she felt his strong arm closind around her body and his left hand reaching to take the champagne from her hand.

"I think the night is too perfect to talk about business now." He whispered in her ear.

She gasped, the mix of emotions too strong. But she knew there was no way back now. Still wrapped in his arms, she turned to face him.

**Thanksfor reading and please, leave a comment!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I OWN NOTHING**

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Practically caught between the railing of the balcony and his arms, the eye contact between them was very close as ever. Her lips were trembling slightly as she was staring into the eyes without any fear of revealing the deepest secrets of your soul.

He was strong in every way: seductive, gentle but rough at the same time. He had an incredibly sexy accent, a mysterious look, manly body.

And it was obvious that all that initial uncertainty whether she would or would not be able to do something like that of practically 'sell herself, in the most untamed way of speaking, for a profile, now it had become a difficult desire to control.

They were not two teenagers, thirsty if living the life intensely as if it would end at any time. She was an independent, strong and courageous grown woman, on top of her thirty-two years, while he, in a couple of years would be fifty.

He took his eyes from her eyes and looked at her mouth, which was slightly open. He put the glass with the champagne on the railing of the balcony, without break the eyes contact at any time as he could feel her breathing getting intense so to speak.

With his calloused hands, he gently held her face as if to touch for his own such beauty for a moment, and within seconds he was touching her lips with his own, while their bodies were quickly finding and filling all the space between them, in a hug that tight but without suffocation, and the kiss was becoming deeper, while she was hugging him with both arms over his shoulder and his hands were touching her waist inside her blouse that he had pulled a little from inside her pants only to touch her skin.

In the arms of that man, she felt that she was totally immensely desired as she just could not remember of being during her entire life. Emily Prentiss, her real ID, was a gorgeous woman, no doubt of it, but she was an introspective, reserved person that had used always to keep a certain distance of everything that involved love, feelings, relationship, putting herself in a safe and secure place for herself, so safe that it used to scare men that used to approach her. Lauren Reynolds was exactly like that, she knew deep down it was only a different name, both women were the same, exactly the same, but Ian Doyle was a different man of all the others. He was determined and sure of himself enough to try to unravel this woman, in the purest sense of the word.

The desire between them was now inevitable. She wanted to be loved, without barriers, by whole. Like a storm in the desert, he wanted to flood her madness and desire, soaking her body with passion letting the feelings lose the reason. She wanted to be pampered. She wanted to feel loved, to feel protected in his arms.

Still kissing each other, their bodies were making their path to the huge suite, to the even huger king size bed.

She was trying hard to ignore the tiny distant voice in her mind that was trying to alert her to be careful, not careful because he was a too fucking dangerous man, not to the fact that she was involved in a such dangerous operation, not to the fact that she was there alone totally unprotected for herself, against him, but to the fact that the love was right there, ready to fill her entire heart, in a way it never had done before.

Once they were inside the suite, near the bed, he finally broke the kiss, and took a few steps forward, enough to make her feel a little apprehensive. He used his lighter to light some aromatic candles that were part of the decoration of the bedroom, turning off the ceiling lights right after, always under her watchful eyes. Then, but not less surprising, he took two or three roses from the vase, who were also part of the decoration, he approached her, and he gently passed the button of the roses on her face, and she did mention to smell them. That was when he grabbed her by the neck gently with one hand since the other still had the roses, and whispered in her ear:

"…Your skin is infinitely more soft and smelling than these roses here…Can't wait to prove the rest..."

She felt a shiver hearing this, she including opened a little her mouth as she thought he would kiss her again, but he was also full of surprises. He only smiled at her and walked to the bed. Still looking at her all the time, he took off the button of one the roses and then he spread the petals on the bed and he did this with the two other roses. Looking at this scene, if she had not deeply studied his past life, she would doubt that he really was that dangerous man that she knew that he was.

He smiled at her. She smiled back. He approached her again and hugged her a little stronger now, instantly putting his both hands on her butt while he kissed her deeply again. Yeah. He knew how to deal with a woman just the way they like to be treated.

Still kissing, they walked to the bed but before they could fell on it, he broke the kiss to take off her blouse over her shoulders. She was not prepared for the sex in this first date with him. She knew that somehow, someday, during the operation, she would have to do this, but that was a plan carefully elaborated for Lauren Reynolds. Now, she was only Emily and she wanted to do this like in an urge to be loved. So, she did not care for the nothing sexy bra that she was wearing. Apparently neither did him, since the only thing he could look was the flesh of her perfect boobs in the bra, then, the second thing that instantly stole his attention was a tattoo right below her boobs taking all her left side. He took her left arm lifting it to read what was written on the tattoo: '_That which does not kill me makes me stronger_'.

He twisted his mouth, and said:

"Powerful…"

It had an implicit question in this simple word. So she said:

"…with our job…" She shrugged.

He put her in a hug and said on her ear, while holding her head:

"I'll protect you…"

Somehow this melted her heart. She broke the hug to look at him and say:

"Please… don't make me fall in love with you…"

After a moment of silence to digest what she had said, he said slowly:

"Some things are not a choice…"

And like a magnet their mouths were connected again and now they closed their eyes and just let their bodies being guided by the strong desire that they were feeling for each other.

And as a rapturous love that boosts, that sustains and nourishes the craziness that is the life. With this sweeping love, this love that installs itself without asking permission, this love that destroys, this love that builds, this love that burns and gets to a point that we can no longer settle for anything less than this sweeping love; they surrendered to love, a burning love, ripping the heart for each other. The sex itself was the least important there. She knew that it was a big risk, because nothing else in her life would be like before after that.

She closed her eyes by feeling his stubble rubbing against her super soft skin of her boobs while he was sucking her nipples like a starving newborn.

Without stopping sucking her nipples, his right hand reached the button of her pants and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped it, opening space for his hand to explore what it had inside. As he realized that she was more than ready for the sex, he smiled for himself.

He then just sat over her body, with one leg to each side of her, but not with fully weight of his body, to take off his shirt and open his own pants. It was when he started to take her pants as well and he could see the other tattoo of her. It was on her groin: a drawing of a cat and its footprints as if the cat was coming out from inside her panties, a super cute drawing.

Ian looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. Then, he pretended that he was talking to the cat. He said:

"I bet you had lots of fun inside, right? Now... it's my turn..."

She smiled hearing this. He then got rid of her panties and started by kissing her entire body. Emily, Lauren or whoever she was could not remember any man doing this kind of stuff with her body providing such pleasure for her that was making her whole body squirm and get weak, not even the experiences she has with women in the college, nothing could be compared to this. She only literally opened herself to him and enjoyed the moment.

The next thing that she could remember was when she let escape a high moan of pleasure after being biting his shoulder and scratching hard his backs while he was thrusting hard into her. As a gentleman he waited for her to come and right after her it was his time to empty his content into her or into the condom so to speak.

He fell to her side and got rid of the condom. Then, he turned to lie down in front of her, on the bed, pulling a sheet to cover both bodies. He clasped his hands with hers, and he kissed her hand, then the forehead, then the lips. He said:

"We can talk about business tomorrow…"

"It's the last thing that I want to talk about now…" She said.

He put her in a hug and finally they fell asleep, and like everything was conspiring in favor, the lights of the candles were going out one by one.

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After about two hours or something that they were sleeping, they were woken by her cell phone ringing as crazy. She froze as she knew that it could be someone from Interpol, most likely Clyde as he was the one that was obsessed because she was doing this undercover operation. It was an empty of data cell phone, of course, a fake one and a new number, but everyone at Interpol had this new number.

She mentally prayed for when she opened her eyes, Ian was still asleep, but he was staring at her. He said:

"Are you not going to answer?"

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**Guys, thank you for reading and for the comments and please let me know if I need a BETA, because my English is not good and if I need a BETA I will start to look for one, or if someone is available, please PM me, okay, thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing**

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In the middle of the night, peacefully sleeping in his strong arms and hairy chest, Emily was awake by the insistent ringing of her cell phone. She mentally prayed that she would open her eyes and Ian would be still asleep, but he was staring straight at her. He said:

"Are you not going to answer?"

As a fucking profiler that she was, as she was studying his curious expression, she cut the eye contact, strengthening the hug and saying:

"I don't know about you… but in this kind of business that we do…we have no organized schedule… I mean… people think they can call you at anytime…"

She said that and she was mentally praying for whoever it was on the phone that this person would give up insisting. And it worked.

Ian then started to caress on the arm since she was totally snuggled in his arms. They were only enjoying the heat of each other bodies and thinking about what had happened few time ago. No one of them wanted to open up to the other about how much the passion had been so uncontrollable and fulminant, especially Emily who had to be careful about each word that she would say to him. But Emily Prentiss was a woman capable of destabilizing even the most controllable and meticulous and patient man, like him. He said:

"We've met for less than 24 hours and it feels like forever…"

"Yeah… it was fast…" She said.

"I usually control my male instincts but…You are so beautiful and hot… that it was just impossible for me…"

Hearing that from him, it was like a slap in the face for a woman like her, as if only his wishes would prevail. She moved in the bed to look at him and said:

"Well… with our life style… we don't know if we're going to be alive tomorrow… we have to live for the moment…"

He smiled and said:

"You're right…"

His hand reached her nape under her hair and pulled her using a little more force now, bringing her for a deep kiss. They were still totally naked and it did not take any second more for them to be fucking like crazies again.

Emily could not believe that she was truly doing it and that it would be so easy for her. She knew that this would have a price in the future but for now she only wanted to enjoy.

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Next morning, she was stretching in bed while Ian was going to answer the door to get the huge breakfast, with everything they were entitled. He was in his black bath robe and she was still totally naked under the sheets. Ian gave a hefty tip for the bellboy and closed the door. He then approached Emily that was still sitting on the bed and she had pulled the sheet to cover her boobs. He sat on the bed and said:

"Good morning…"

"Morning…"

As she could not be even more surprised by his attitudes, he approached her and he kissed her on the mouth. But that was not only a simple kiss, it was the most intimate gesture that they could have, even they had made love for two times during the night. It was deep and long and wet kiss, where they shared the most deep and precious moment of intimacy as possible, much more than through the sex. It was as if a strong bond between them was starting there, it was as if a connection between them was being consolidated, showing how much they both wanted a relationship, arousing the desire to go beyond, and the willingness to be together. She never expected this to happen. Not that she had no confidence in herself, but she knew very well how men's minds use to work: after getting sex with his 'prey', if it is the only thing that he wants, there is no need for any extra effort, but by that kiss, she knew that she would have him in the palm of her hands, if she already did not.

He finally broke the kiss not before ending it with a last light bite on her lip as if not wanting to let this kiss to end. Then he said:

"The breakfast is ready…"

"You're perfect… do you have a special radar to guess all my needs? I'm starving!"

He smiled and said:

"No… but I hear very well and I was awakened this morning by the sound of your stomach growling from hunger…"

"Noooo!" She exclaimed, disbelieving, smiling always.

"Yeah… That's truth…" He said, smiling back.

Then, he looked at her again with a little more intense stare at her now, and said:

"But I did want to have some kind of special power to be able to guess all your wishes…"

Hearing this, she could not sustain the eye contact as this broke her heart a little. She said:

"Well… I better get out of this bed now… and take a quick shower so I can kill what is killing me…"

She kissed him on the lips and went to the bathroom.

Once there, she closed the door and she could barely look at her image in the huge mirror, so ashamed of herself she was. It was an internal struggle, a mental war with herself, a true battle as she knew that he was a criminal that had to be put away, but this other side of him had totally gained her, her heart so to speak. Tears sprang from her eyes when she saw the thought of what was coming ahead. She did not want to even think.

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**During the breakfast:**

"So… what do you want to know about Valhalla?" He asked.

"There is not too much that I can tell… but… it's about business, of course…I want to see if we can do some business together… I am sure I have some things… new things in this commerce… that I am sure he will be interested…"

"I'll see what I can do…" He said, without looking at her as he had things to hide as well.

She was studying his facial expressions.

"Find me a safe connection that I can use and then we talk about it…" She said.

"I can intermediate the negotiation until you get to know him…"

Still studying him, she slightly nodded, and said

"Sure…"

"You know his main business is in Europe, right?" He asked, looking at her now.

"Mmm… I don't know too much about him… I mean… Jack was telling something about him and he said that you could help me…"

"I certainly can…"

"Good…"

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She was ready to go and they were in a tight hug now. He was saying:

"I have a busy day today here in Boston… lots of meetings before going back to Europe… but I'll ask one of my men to drive you…"

"No…no, thanks… I can get a cab as I have a very busy day today as well…lots of places to go…"

He caressed her on the cheek and said:

"I know nothing about you… but I want to get to know you…"

She smiled but she was too apprehensive now afraid of him to notice something as she knew that stupid was something that he definitely was not.

"I always had problems in trusting people…. With this job we do… we cannot trust anyone as you know… but I hope we have other opportunities for us to know each other better…"

"I am looking forward to it…"

They gave a last kiss and before she left, he still said:

"Are you sure you don't want a ride…"

"Yes… thank you… there are a lot of cabs available in this Hotel… it is not necessary…"

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Once she was in the Hotel where she was staying, she sat on the bed and she was only thinking about the last happenings, she had total mix feelings all together now: love, confusion, fear, lost, doubt, and she was so afraid too because falling in love with him was not in her plans, at all, this was the last thing she wanted or needed. Suddenly, when she was doing this retrospect of the last night, her cell phone started to ring again. She answered:

"Hello?"

"What the fuck is going on, Emily? I called you all night!"

Her blood boiled in the same second that she heard this. She said:

"I'M SORRY, I THINK YOU CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER… MY NAME IS NOT EMILY!" She hung up the phone on his face.

Of course that he tried again, but he was trying to be calmer now. She answered by saying:

"What do you want, Clyde?"

"I wanted to check on you and find out how the first date with him went…"

"Clyde… I am another person now… please… the deal… the rule is that I will get in touch with you all when I have enough against him… and you calling me like that can put me in a terrible dangerous situation… can't you see this?"

"Please, Emily… just give up this craziness… it was not right of Sean doing this and using you like that…"

"What is done is done, Clyde… I will not step back… I know you are worried about me but I cannot give up, anymore… I know how to take care of myself, I know how far I can go… and please… don't call me anymore…just follow the rules…" She bit her lips by saying this.

*Moments of silence on the phone*

He took a deep breath and said:

"Okay, Emily… I promise my life that I will protect you from him… but I will do this by far… I won't call you…"

"Thank you, Clyde… bye, bye…"

She threw the phone on the bed. Not that she did not know about the secret passion that Clyde felt for her, but he had never been honest enough to admit it to her, so, in the millisecond where she thought that he could be the one for her, it just vanished like paper in the wind, for her, Clyde just did not worth not even a first thought. But she was glad to know that she could count on him as a great partner of work. Remembering his words, she just wished he could protect her heart the way he said he would protect her with his life.

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**Two days later:**

She had not heard about Ian during these two days, it was when late night, her cell phone beeped with a message, saying: "Meet me at my Hotel, in one hour…"

She felt a heat all over her body but she did not want to stop to figure if it was fear, anxiety, or some fucking thing related to something usually called 'feelings', and that she had always worked hard to keep herself far away from. She quickly got up from the bed and went for a shower and dressed up in jeans and a blouse and a jacket and her boots, and in the exactly appointed time by him, she was there at the door of the posh suite he was staying.

As she had been announced by the reception of the Hotel, he opened the door for her even before the elevator hit the floor. He left the door a little opened and walked back to the bedroom to prepare drinks for them, a little stronger this time: whiskey.

The elevator door opened and she could see that the door was ajar. Her heart was pounding fast as ever but she had no time or will to try to figure out what the fuck was this that she was feeling. She slowly stepped into the bedroom and she saw him. He took the glass with the whiskey inside and approached her as she was still in the hall, but inside the bedroom.

He passed over her to lock the door. He drank all the strong liquid of the glass at once, and placed the glass on the small buffet behind her taking the advantage that he was so close to grab her, kissing her as if he could 'eat' her with the same voracity and desire like he had just made with the whiskey.

Without saying a word, he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her, biting her mouth, neck, chin, jaw, tongue, everywhere, and the taste of the alcohol coming from his mouth was the drop that was missing to drive her completely insane. She dropped her purse on the floor and they were ripping clothes of each other while they were making their path to no specific place but to where their crazy desire would lead them.

The suite was really huge and the bed was too far away considering the their urgency they were feeling to have each other. It was when he grabbed her in his arms, lifting her by her butt and put her sitting on the backs of the sofa. She was on her jeans and boots still and only the bra on the top that he quickly ripped off her and plunged his rough beard on her soft boobs, sucking them hard and making her see stars as she could not remember the last time where she felt like that: so desired by someone.

While he was sucking greedily her nipples hard, he was holding her backs with his callous hands for her not to fall on the sofa. But she wanted more, she needed more and she needed it now. So, while he was doing it, she was trying to open up his pants, and she was doing it very carefully as his jeans were now too tight for such a volume it had inside.

She unbuttoned and unzipped it. She stuck her hand inside his underwear, as if touching another part of herself, as if that part belonged to her, as if it was a part that was lost in the world to complete her.

Realizing that she was in such urgency and totally involved by the heat of the moment, he did not want to lose more time, he took her from the sofa to be only able to put her standing in front of him and he kissed her deeply while caressing her boobs and her hands were also very busy inside his pants. He turned her body as she had her backs to him now.

Getting rid of jeans while wearing boots was a difficult task and he had no time for this now. With the experience of millennia of practice, in a second he only lowered her pants to her knees, to where the limit of her boots allowed, but he did not need more than that.

He curved her body on the sofa to facilitate the access, while he stuck two fingers in her folds to check if she was ready for him, he took the condom from his own pocket and dressed it in a second. Then he grabbed her by the hips and thrust inside her at once making her scream in pleasure while she was grabbing the fabric of the sofa. He was holding her by the hips, and sometimes by her hair, and thrusting hard and deep and fast as it was exactly what both of them needed now: to feel each other so badly.

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He was now only looking at her totally naked now on bed, after a hot and wild lovemaking. She smiled at him as if she was a little ashamed but it was all part of her charm. She was a grown woman totally sure of what she wanted and what she was doing, she had no reason for be ashamed of anything. He smiled at her while he was smoking a cigarette. She smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you for these past two days… I got busy…"

"I totally understand…"

"Good… well… I found a connection that you can use to Valhalla…"

As if she had fallen from heaven to hell, as if she had woken up from the best dreams, she quickly changed her facial expressions being so abruptly brought to the reality like that.

"_Fuck_!" She thought.

But she was there for a mission. She was Emily Prentiss, an Interpol agent that was on an important mission to save the world, and it did not matter if she had to rip her heart in pieces for that, in the process. The world would thank her and she would have to put a stone heart in the place of her own heart. She sat on the bed and covered her nudity with the sheets and said:

"…Oh… really? That is… great…" But she showed no excitement.

"Yeah… but… you'll have to come with me to Ireland… are you working alone on this?"

"I'm the only negotiator… in our business…"

"Okay… we can discuss the details during the trip… Are you coming? I might travel tomorrow…."

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**Thank you for reading and I am sorry for the English errors.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing**

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"I have some stuff still to do here in America… I… I'm going to meet you there… is this possible?"

He thought for a while and said:

"Yeah… this is possible…"

Although much had happened between them, things that were extremely intimate, they were still maintaining a certain mystery in the air, as if they would not reveal what was really behind their personality, especially Emily, who had a lot to hide and to lose if he only suspected about something, she could risk her own life, for example.

"Well… I am traveling tomorrow… I'll get in touch with you…" He said.

"Okay… but… can't you give me a phone number… an address… or something?" She said.

He only stared at her for while as if he was analyzing her.

"I thought you knew how this business works…" He said.

It was more like a question so she had to think fast about an answer. She got up to hug him and said:

"Is that… mm… alright… I am not good with feelings and relationships and beautiful romantic words... but… But I'll have to say this…I am going to miss you… and just in case you don't call me… I wish I had a connection with you besides Jack…"

He hugged her back, and whispered on her ear:

"I usually don't lie… I'll look for you in this address like I said before…"

They fell into a deep kiss and they would not see or listen from each other in two weeks or so.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

Walking in circles around the Hotel bedroom where she was staying in Boston, Emily was apprehensive and she did not even knew what to think first. She had a huge plan to put into practice and so far things had worked pretty perfect as she was following the schedule and everything. Even that it was not part of the plan at all to fall in love with him, but this issue belonged to her only, to deal when she had time, because for now, she had to do what Interpol wanted her to do and for them it was working all perfect so far.

She was apprehensive now because she would have to leave her comfort zone, her country and everything and put herself all alone into his world, Ireland. But she was Emily Prentiss, she could not fear anything, she was brave and fearless and she would give her life for make the world a better place to live. She would do this mission no matter what.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Two weeks later – IRELAND:**

It had been two days already that she was in the Hotel, in Ireland, waiting for a contact from him. It was now almost midnight and she was sitting in the bed only thinking that she would have to wait one day more. And thinking about everything that she would have to do there, about every single detail of the big plan, but the only thing that she could think about was his kisses and their moments together and how she was missing him.

Her heart raced as she heard the intercom ringing from the reception of the Hotel.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Reynolds… there is a man waiting for you here at the reception…"

"Oh… okay…"

Emily would ask the person to go there but actually her gut feeling was not sure if it was Ian that was there so she decided that it was safer for her if she would go to the reception.

And she was right. Liam was there is his best evil face waiting for her. She froze for a second and in an impetus she including stopped walking for a millisecond, approaching him in the sequence.

Without looking at him, she said:

"I thought that it was Ian…"

"I only follow orders and you follow me…"

She entered the back of the second SUV, and she was being taken to somewhere she had no idea. It was impossible for her to not be nervous. She was human, and it was simply impossible for her to live in such a situation and not feel like the insecurity was knocking at 'her door' every new minute of every new event. LIke: if he had found out about her? What he would do to her? Sessions of torture, or he would kill her at once? These thoughts were always crossing her mind, although she was doing her best to act natural and to don't demonstrate any feeling. She was Emily Prentiss, after all. She had zillions of mental boxes to save things and keep her mind and heart empty, right? Not too much, because she was human.

During the long ride, she decided to stay in silence, so did Liam.

Finally, after about half an hour and very far from the town, he parked the SUV in front of a bar, it seemed a private place. All the men of the first SUV entered the bar and Liam opened the door for her to get out of the car. She did and he waited her enter the bar, she entered and he locked the door. She was in the edge of panic now, but always trying her very best to not show anything.

It was a big empty corridor and a lot of closed doors and everything was quiet, all the men walked towards to a big salon at the end of the hall, and only Liam was behind her as if he was escorting her. For one second, she felt as if she was cattle going to slaughter.

It was when they finally got into the salon where they were some busty and semi naked women and a lot of men, drinking, smoking and playing cards, mostly like a private casino. She saw Ian by far but he took some while to notice that she was there. But he first wanted to end the round of the game so he asked Liam to ask her to approach him. This only for itself was enough to make her blood boil, as if: would she have to beg for attention of a man. She wanted to die in anger now. But she kept calm and controlled as she was there in a mission, right?

In her mental battle, with her stomach churning with hate that she did not even know why; she approached him, but he did not bother to look at her since he was too involved with the card game. He only said:

"Sit…"

And this made her stomach churn even more, but she obeyed him.

For the next fifteen minutes that she was there, she was only observing everything: semi naked women offering themselves to men, and sometimes kissing each other, everything washed down with high doses of alcohol and cigarette smoke. She knew that there was not too much of what she needed to know in there.

So far, Ian had practically ignored her presence there as he was too focused on the card game and this was bothering her too much more than she wanted. She could take this huge opportunity to only be observing how Doyle's world worked and put everything in the profile, not that she was not doing this and taking mental notes, but her anger was making her to defocus from what she was really doing there.

"Focus, Emily… damn 'fucking' feelings…" She was thinking.

Her limit of patience was when one of the busty blond approached Ian with some cards between her huge boobs offering the cards (and herself) to him as he took the cards from her boobs and smiled at the blond woman. Emily could not believe she was there being part of that.

She opened her mouth wide. She just got up and walked fast to out of there, walking fast through the corridors as she had no idea where was the exit door anymore, so nervous that she was now. Ian quickly went after her.

The place had a huge hall and a lot of others doors but the only crowded salon was the main one where they were playing cards. The rest of the place was empty as that was a private place.

"Hey, Lauren…" He called her.

She didn't stop and kept walking as fast as she could.

"Lauren, stop…" He insisted as he was approaching her already.

"No… go back to your little private party… which I don't need to be part of it…"

"Okay… I just wanted to end the round… I was wining there… we bet for money here…"

"I don't care about your fucking money… Just call a cab as I have no idea where I am… I want to be back to my Hotel…"

"You are not going anywhere…"

"We'll see!" She yelled.

"Yeah… we'll see!" He yelled.

He grabbed her strongly by her arm, making her stop walking and he put her against the wall, staring at her. She was breathing fast as her lips were trembling and she was hating herself for having acted like an unbalanced teenager with jealousy crisis.

She was trying (not too much) to get rid of his arms. She said:

"Let go of me… I am not your possession… I am not your piece of meat like those bitches…"

He was holding her with one arm around her slim body and with his other hand, he grabbed her by the neck, instantly, slippering his thumb into her mouth.

"You don't have any reason to be jealous..."

"Don't flatter yourself… I'm not jealous…"

He only smiled and still holding her by the arm, he took his cell phone from the pocket and emitted a signal to the gang as he wanted to go out of there.

In minutes they were in the second SUV. Liam gave a worried look at him through the rearview mirror when Ian ordered him to drive them to home as he had never taken a strange person to there.

The place where he lived in Ireland was just one of his palaces around the world. It was a real palace but Emily was too much nervous to notice something. The place also seemed to be the safest place in the world, a real fortress.

There were only Ian and Emily there now, the employees were sleeping and only the security guards were taking care of the place.

They were in the living room now. He approached her and he tried to hug her for a kiss, saying:"

"I missed you..."

She walked away from him to the other side of the room. He said:

"Lauren… what's going on?"

She had to think before say something but she was too tired, emotionally stressed, so she decided only to open her heart. She said:

"I'm not jealous person at all… you have nothing to explain to me… but I did not like what I just saw in that bar… I don't want to be part of that…"

"You seemed comfortable in America… in our dates and everything… what have changed?"

She thought for a while again, and bit her lips, before say:

"I am not asking for any commitment… but at same time… I do not want this just be a casual thing... or only about physical attraction and sex… I want it to mean something to you… like it does to me, Ian… What we had in America was truly special… at least for me… Just tell me now, Ian, if this is only fun, sex and games to you… I need to know now and we will have to stop this… and go straight to the point: Valhalla…"

As much as Emily did not want, she was speaking it from the bottom of her heart, she needed to put a limit on that and test him. It was a test to see how much she had managed to get him wrapped on the plan. But the main thing here was that she really wanted to know what she meant to him as she had no idea now the limit between Emily and Lauren anymore.

"Lauren… look… what I feel for you is very special… seeing your jealous really flatters me, but you dont have reasons for this…all those women in there do not worth the floor that you step on... I think we have something very special here and we should continue to try to see where this leads us… And no, this is not just sex for me…"

He approached her again and tried to hug her. She kind of resisted in the begining but she surrendered to his strong arms as they kissed each other deeply. After the kiss, resting they forehead together, he said:

"Look…. I have to make a trip to Dublin… it was a 'last hour' business… and I want you to come with me and then I promise that when we come back I will take you to see Valhalla… what do you think?"

"I think we can go… I am not in any big negotiation during this period as I am totally anxious to make business with this mysterious Valhalla…"

He only smiled at her as he was putting some whiskey for them. He handed a glass to her and said:

"Then… there is someone that I want you to meet…"

She drunk a little of the strong liquid and said:

"…Really? …Who?"

"Someone very special to me… but not now… you'll know in time…"

"Mm… okay…"

He was talking about the cute little boy, Declan, as she had no idea that he had a son. The boy was in his castle in Tuscany.

After about half an hour, they were in his suite, he picked up a box of things from his past, those were things from when he had been in the war, the medals that he had won, some were even from school days. There were also lots of pictures, and then he told her about his past, that he never knew who his parents were, and he had never had anyone to show his accomplishments, and that those important things ended up only in that old box and lost in his own memories.

Emily was only observing and fighting her feelings. She was living like in a constant struggle. She said:

"Thank you for sharing these important things with me… you can open up yourself to me anytime…"

"I do not trust someone so easily… Lauren… but something about you makes me want to open up to you just by the look in your eyes…"

They shared an intense look quickly broken by her as she looked at the box on the bed pretending that she wanted to know more but deep down she was almost in pain wanting to cut the eye contact because the guilt was eating her up entirely now. Ian also turned his attention to the box again and he took a medal from inside. He said:

"This one here…it was when I was only fifteen… a warehouse was in a huge fire and the fire department was studying a plan to get inside and it was an orphanage… there were children inside and I did not think twice… I know it was irresponsible from my part but I got inside and the whole thing came apart in pieces… it was a big thing but all the children were safe… and I ended up receiving this medal…"

Ian was speaking and looking all the time to the medal and Emily was looking him all the time. His eyes, his ears, some wrinkles on his neck and face that was ratifying what he was saying, his hair that was becoming gray, she could not believe how much part of her had fall in love with him and how this was messing with her. She would have to deliver him to police and she was freaking out with this thought.

Ian looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. He said:

"What's wrong?"

She was a little embarrassed so to speak as the guilt was too much now. She never thought in zillion years that this would be so difficult. She said:

"I… I… it's… I… nothing… I… I… I got a little emotional… it… it's a beautiful story…"

The big lump in her throat was almost preventing her to speak. She said:

"I'm sorry… I need to go to the washroom…"

Inside the bathroom, she locked the door and she totally fell apart. She curved her body as if she was in a huge pain and she actually was, she sat on the floor, against the wall and she started to cry, she curled her body and she was thinking to herself: God… I cannot do this… please… take this away from me if you can… Please, God… help me I cannot do this to him… I cannot do this… Oh my God…

After about fifteen minutes, he knocked on the bathroom door as she was still in there:

"Lauren? Are you okay? What's going on?"

She only opened the bathroom door and threw herself into his arms:

"Please… love me… I need you to love me…"

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**Please, you can give suggestions if you want to see something different here. THANK YOU!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing**

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Emily was only standing on the balcony of a posh Hotel in Dublin. She was dressed in a red blouse, turtleneck, and her typical tight jeans. She had gone out to do some shopping and to visit some places in the city, while Ian had went to the business, like had happened during the last two weeks.

Although it was very cold, she was on the balcony because the view was really beautiful. The sun was up point, dying red on the horizon, to give way to a full moon. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she did not notice when he entered the room. She only felt his arms wrapping her body from behind. She held his arms squeezing them on her belly as she turned the head to kiss him. He kissed her on the lips and then on the neck making her smile as it was one of the most sensitive parts in her body and of course that he already knew this.

"Mmm… I missed you…" She muttered.

"Me too…" He said.

Still wrapped in his arms she turned to face him. She said:

"…Is everything alright? I mean, with the business?"

As much as she did not want this, it was an Emily Prentiss/Interpol question.

"Well… I will have to wait until next week to know… but I am pretty sure that this will be one of the biggest operations that I ever made…"

She mentally lamented as she knew it must be a terrible thing, but he never gave her too much details which for her in a certain way, she was very thankful for that.

"That's good…" She merely said.

"…But we will not have to stay here… we can go back to Ireland tomorrow… and you'll finally get to know Valhalla…"

She smiled nervously.

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**Later that night:**

After the fancy dinner at the restaurant of the Hotel, they were in the bedroom now, on the sofa, only snuggling each other, drinking an expensive wine. It felt so fucking good to be in his arms.

She could no longer deny what was happening. A chill in the stomach, a tense look, a bland smile, it was definitely a consuming passion that she was feeling, which had shaken with all of her structures. She even tried to hide it a bit, but her body could not help it: it was pretty obvious how much she was involved with him with all desire, lust, chemistry, in full bloom, all the time.

Falling for him had made things easier for her? Well, for now yes, because it would be too complicated to fall into bed with someone who she just felt nothing for.

They were lying on the sofa, only the light of the moon illuminating the room, she was on his chest, he held her chin and kissed her lips and he had his mouth full of wine, giving it to her and falling into a deep kiss. She swallowed the wine and kissed him back, smiling, he smiled back to her. She rest her head on his chest again as he was gently caressing her on the hair and arms. Life seemed almost perfect in this very moment for both of them. It was when she heard:

"So… tell me about you… your life… I know nothing about you…"

She froze and she thanked God that he could not see her face now as it was stuck on his chest.

She thought quickly for a while then she said:

"Well… first thing you have to know… and I think that you already know it… it is that I am a very closed person… I don't trust anyone… I hardly open up to anyone… and I remember being like that since always… and with time and as far I as know that I really can trust you… I'll open up more… but for now… there some things that I can say… I am an 'only child'… I was not raised by my parents… so all my childhood I was always lonely so I had to be by myself since I was a small child… I was never good at school as I always had the feeling that I knew much more than the teachers… so finally when I was in high school I could quit school forever… and I moved with an ex-boyfriend and I learned a lot from him in this business… but he was stupid… he was a drug dealer and you know… there is no future for drugs dealers, besides cemetery or jail… and after being used by all the men in my life I ended up here… alone, by myself taking care of my own business…"

He was only listening and smiling to himself as if it was possible for him to love her more. Emily Prentiss was smart and shrewd and everything, she knew when and how to use her secret weapons of seduction and before he could start asking questions that would put her into a delicate situation, she moved her body to be able to look at him. As he was lying on the sofa, she sat over his body, one leg to each side of him. Even though both of them were fully dressed, she could feel the reactions of his body under hers.

She looked at him in her best sexy face, biting her lips, then, she got rid of her sweater showing her perfect boobs in her sexy black lace bra, driving him insane. She approached his lips and bit them, whispering in the sequence:

"The rest of my secrets… I'll let my body to reveal… only if you're good enough to find out…"

Well, that was enough to wake the beast inside him to make love to her for the rest of the night.

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She woke the next morning with Ian bringing a tray with breakfast for her. She stretched on the bed and sat and said:

"Mmm… you keep spoiling me… and I am getting too damn used to it and you will not be able to handle…"

"You didn't see anything yet… imagine when we get married…I'll treat you more than like a Queen…"

He said that and put the tray on the bed in front of her. Sensually, biting a strawberry, she said:

"Marry?" She asked.

He smiled at her, and he sat next to her on the bed and said:

"Yeah… that's what people do when they are terribly in love and involved…"

She opened her mouth as if she would say something but nothing came out and she raised her eyebrows, then after some time has passed, she said:

"Ian… we've been together for a month or so…"

"Yeah… I know… but it seems like forever to me… I never felt for anybody what I feel for you, Lauren… you bring me peace… you bring me faith and trust…"

She was totally speechless now thinking: If he only knew. She was not expecting this at all. He added:

"…You are one of that special people that God put into the world as if you were in a service of him to make people happy and make their lives shine…"

She was getting nervous and embarrassed now. She said:

"No, Ian… Stop it… I am not…"

"Yes, you are, Love... but I'll stop saying this, if this bothers you... so, what do you think?"

"…About what?"

"…Getting married…"

She had never thought in zillions years that this would be like that, that she would wrap him in such short time. Yeah, Emily, you're a powerful woman! She thought. Too bad the only man that had propose to her and that she would say a big 'yes' without thinking so in love she was, he was the only one in the universe that she could not marry. She said:

"Ian… well… it is not only because we're together for such short time… but… I was never into this marriage thing… I never was…to me… weddings are most like a folklore party and I never saw myself being part of it… not even when I was a teenager… I never liked it…"

Seeing a little of disappointment on his face, she added:

"…But I believe in relationships though…"

He smiled at her and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss.

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**Weeks later, in Ireland:**

"Clyde... I don't have anything concrete so far... I need more time… I did not even find out the connection between him and this faction Valhalla…"

"As much time as you spend undercover the risk gets bigger and bigger, you know that, right?"

"Yeah… I know that… but I don't have enough yet…"

"It's been two months… I read the papers you sent about his transition in Dublin… but once again the name Valhalla popped up as the main faction in the operation… we need to know, very soon, what is the connection between Ian Doyle and this Valhalla thing…"

"I think I'll get to know real soon now…Have you provided the warlike supplements that I asked for?"

"Yeah… everything is meticulously organized… they will be there in that address you send us… with all the weapons and stuff…"

She took a deep breath and said:

"Okay…"

"Emily… what's wrong?

"What?"

"Your voice… you seem nervous and you seem… almost in pain…"

"Clyde… I am not in Disneyland having fun… I think it's pretty normal if I'm nervous…"

"Okay… Take care… please…"

"I know what I have to do… bye Clyde…"

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It was a big propriety in Ireland where Ian Doyle had asked Lauren Reynolds to meet him there.

"Open it…" Ian said.

Liam opened the back part of a big truck and it had huge and modern weapons never seen by them before. They were incredibly surprised as they were dealing with this business for such a long time and they had never seen stuff like that before.

"Liam… something bothering you?" Ian said.

"…None of our other suppliers can get stuff this good… She's too good to be true, and you're too blind to see it…"

Liam was right-hand man of Ian, a person that he most trusted in his life. Ian rarely decided something about anything without talking to him first. He was the person Ian could trust more when it comes to business.

"Shut it…" Ian said, ordering to close the truck.

"Get in the car, the second one…" He ordered to Emily.

"I'll take care of her…" Ian said to Liam, but she could hear as she was making her path to the car. Her stomach got cold in fear.

**Inside the SUV:**

"…You always ride in the second car…Why?"

"…Because the first car takes the hit in an ambush…"

*Moments of silence*

"Are you going to Take care of me?" She asked and her voice was cracking.

"Yes, I am…"

"Good…"

It was time to appeal again to her seductive weapons: she kissed him deeply, as she wanted to demonstrate that she was totally in his hands. He broke the kiss and said:

"Hey, hey… I need to ask you something…"

"You never ask me about my, you know, about my business, about Valhalla anymore… Why is that?"

"Since we've been together… I just assumed you'll tell me when you're ready to tell me…"

"Well, uh, there is something I want to tell you…"

"Okay…"

"I was going get you the ring, but, uh, you said you're not the marrying type…"

He said that while he was taking a Gimmel ring in a necklace from his pocket and he gave it to her. She was surprised. It was actually his way of proposing to her, of course that her heart melted hearing this. She took it in her hands and after the initial shock, she said:"

"It's… It's beautiful…"

"Look at me…" He ordered.

"I am Valhalla…"

She could not believe he was there delivering this kind of important information to her. She knew that it would be a long road until she had enough evidences against him, but for now she only wanted to be Lauren, the woman who was deeply in love with him.

"I have no idea what kind of life we're going have, but I just want you in mine…"

She only hugged him and she was too much divided between Emily and Lauren to think what to do next.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Thanks for reading and a comment would make me really happy. **


	7. Chapter 7

**I OWN NOTHING**

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**America, DC:**

"I got the most awesome news in my life this morning and I want to share with all of you..."

Morgan, Garcia, Elle, Gideon, Reid, JJ were all looking at their boss now and it was the first time that they could remember to see him smiling and he also has a special glare in his eyes. He said:

"I'm going to be a father…"

Everyone smiled in happiness and one by one they went to congratulate Hotch for the great news.

"Oh, man, congratulations… although I don't understand anything of this 'marriage and babies' things and I will never be part of this… I am very happy for you…"

"Thank you, Derek… that's because you have not found the right person who completes you, and that is your soul mate... but once you look into the eyes of the person you want to settle down and have a family with like I did with Hayley… it is the most beautiful and precious gift in the whole world… Your time has not come yet… but I have a strong feeling your soul mate will soon enter your life..."

Morgan laughed and said:

"I doubt that…"

"I can see a lot of children around Daddy Morgan yelling: I want chocolate… I want ice-cream… I want new sandals… and all the boys chasing your daughter just like you do nowadays with all the girls…" Garcia said.

"Oh, baby girl… is this some kind of plague or something? Is it the way you say you love me?"

"It is exactly because I love you that I wish all of this for you… a godness woman that will be able to steal your heart and make you do everything for her…" Garcia said.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you… but you will never see this…"

"Okay, my Chocolate Thunder, can you please repeat these words so I can tape it, I want to play this back to you at your wedding day…"

"Statistics show that men who tend to be womanizer become overprotective father of their daughters because they know that is full of guys like him out there… and they know very well what they are capable of doing…" Reid said.

"Oh, C'mon, pretty boy… I thought you were on my team…"

"Statistics also shows that majority of men say the same as you Derek saying they will never marry and settle down but in the high majority they are the first to settle down to have a wife and family than those who never says this…"

"Okay… okay… well… I surrender… only if, one day… I find a woman that is: smart, intelligent, funny, kind, sweet and brave at the same time, sexy, voice of an angel, nice boobs, great butt, fleshy lips, big eyelashes and that totally understands my job… and also… this person must be so badass and so tough that she will can kick my butt that I would afraid to fight her in physical and verbal battles… then I get married…"

Everybody laughed as they knew that it was a very difficult task.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Ireland:**

She had walked all over the city now, and she had ended up with possibilities of have being followed by someone. She noticed Liam's eyes on her all the time, but she had managed to get out of the property without raise any suspicions. She walked a lot and visited a lot of places thoroughly planned by Interpol for her finally meet Clyde on a foggy harbor. She looked around and entered the yacht.

"Damn, Emily! I'm here for hours! Where were you?"

"One of his henchmen does not take his eyes of me… I have to be careful, Clyde… it seems that you don't know with who I am dealing…"

"C'mon… what do you have? We cannot waste time here…"

"He is the guy… he is the Valhalla guy… he is the leader of the faction…"

Clyde was in total shock. He could not believe it. He raised his eyebrow in surprise. Emily said:

"Here are all the evidences I got so far… but it's not much…"

She threw a file on the small table. Clyde opened the file and started to give a general look at it and he said:

"Wow… we trapped him!"

Emily gave a sarcastic smile and said:

"WE? As far as I know I am the only one who had to open my legs for him… and have my heart totally…"

She stopped talking realizing that she had said too much. She hugged herself in a protect act and walked to one of the round window of the yacht only looking to the rainy and cloudy day outside. Clyde approached her and said:

"Emily… don't tell me are you falling for him…"

Without looking at him, she said:

"It does not matter, right…. I'm doing my job…"

"…But you falling in love with him it is a total conflict of interests, Emily…"

She turned to face him and said at his face:

"You're pathetic, Clyde… you really think I could go to the evil side and do not do my job? Is this the thanks I get risking my life for this job? I'm doing this assignment better than anyone could have in such a quick and efficient time… I am not a robot it is understandable that real feelings would be happening… Just leave it at that and please do not give me any further lectures as this is the last thing I need..."

*Moments of silence*

He looked at her neck and he saw the gold necklace and the Gimmel ring and asked:

"What is this?"

She bit her lips and even though she did not want to say she knew that it was all part of a play, so she had to say:

"He proposed me…"

"Oh, Emily… wow… you really trapped him… what are you going to do now?"

"I accepted… I mean… I am moving with him tomorrow… I think it'll be easier to get more stuff against him and everything… but at the same time… my contacts will be sparse and rare… but I'll get in touch eventually … don't look for me, please…"

He could notice something very wrong by her voice, it was not fear or anything like that, it was a kind of sadness, and the glare of her eyes was totally dark now. He touched her chin as if making her looking at him and said:

"Are you okay?"

A big lump in her throat was almost preventing her to answer. She merely said:

"I will…"

She disappeared from there so damn quick so he could not see the tears falling down her face. She came out running, walking fast, on the foggy harbor, as if she wanted to disappear from there, not fearing that someone could have followed her, not fearing that she could have been caught, but as if she wanted to escape from the bloody situation in which he had placed her heart in. Suffocating her pain that was like a cry in the dark night and a begging for help but no one ever could hear or do anything! She would have to stifle all her pain and live all her anguish, not knowing if one day her soul would go back to the light again, and all by herself.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**America, DC:**

"Ambassador Prentiss, excuse me?"

"Yes!"

"It's the governor on the phone… line 2…"

"Okay, thank you…"

"Hello, governor… I trust that everything is well…"

"Yes, Ambassador Prentiss, everything is well with my family... how about your family?"

"Uh, I cannot tell exactly the same but we can discuss this later… so my next assignment is in Russia… well… I cannot say that I am happy with this but I'll take this as I never said no to the government of my country…"

"I'm sorry, Ambassador Prentiss… but you Madam is one of our best in this competence and we're having some troubles in Russia right now that I am sure you are totally capable enough to deal…"

"I don't doubt this… for how long I'll have to stay there?"

"We're planning a year…"

"Uh… not too bad… well… as soon as I come back… I'd like to talk to you about my daughter…"

"Oh, little Emily…"

"Yes… she is working for Interpol now… and something just do not sounds good for me… I want her here… back in DC… I am sure you can help me to find something for her here…"

"I'll glad to help you, Ambassador…"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Ireland**

Emily was in the living room and she had three big Suitcases around her.

"This is all that you have?"

She had her hands on her waist. She bit her lips and said:

"Well… Ian… with my kind of business I opted long time ago for not having any fixed address… so I only travel with my clothes and documents… and I live mostly in Hotels… That's my life…"

He approached her and took her hands and said:

"This will change, love… I'll give you a home… an address and I will always protect you…"

She smiled at him, trying to hide how much she got ashamed of herself every time she heard things like this.

"Ian… I want you know how much I love you…please, never forget that, promise me that you will never forget this? I never felt like this for any man like I feel for you… You can feel it every time you look at me and kiss me and when we make love…"

There was anguish in her eyes that she just could not hide because big part of this was the truth.

"So why you look so sad?"

Yes, he was not stupid as he could see in her eyes something was not right. She said:

"Ian… I am not good in relationships… I never was… so I am afraid this can end anytime… but it's just me… I promise… I'm happy with you…"

"I am so happy with you, too, love and… I feel the very same way about you… I never felt this way about anyone as it was mostly about sex and lustful feelings… but with you, Lauren, it is the total package, full love, romance and total soul and heart connection… I promise that we will be happy together forever as a family…"

He kissed her passionately.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Two months after:**

Emily was now in four months of undercover work, and she had sent several documents to Interpol to prove the connection between Ian Doyle and Valhalla, and the investigation had developed fast, and Lauren, well, Lauren was only enjoying the country life in Tuscany Ville, trying not to think about the day that it would end.

Ian was on the balcony of the castle talking on the phone about business when she saw that Emily was in the beautiful garden and she was running on the grass pretending she was chasing Declan, she seemed very happy and the also the boy was having a lot of fun time only playing with her.

He hung up the phone after finishing his business and he smiled at such a touching scene. He was definitely a happy man like he was not since long time ago, or just like he had never been in his entire life. Seeing the two people he loved the most in his life.

He went down the huge ladder to join them in the garden.

Pretending he was running away from Lauren, Declan ran to Ian very quickly and he took the little boy in his arms. She approached them breathing hard from running, and she said, while she was tickling his belly:

"You're good, you young strong, smart boy…"

Declan smiled and Ian had a smile from ear to ear so happy that he was now. Ian said:

"You are some kind of fairy or angel or something…."

"You are such a charmer Mr. Doyle as those skills of yours never change… But you know I'm not any of this… total opposite … stop saying these things…" She said.

Ian put the boy on the ground and said:

"Go take your toys… it's almost dinner time…"

The boy ran to pick up his toys that were on the garden. Ian hugged her and said:

"You make me so happy… I'm serious… I thank the day you came into my life…"

Every time that Ian said those kinds of things to her, her heart shrank a bit as the guilt was consuming every pore of her being. She said:

"You make me happy too… the way I never been… the way I never imagine that I could be…"

He kissed her lips and it turned to a deep passionate kiss that was broken by a certain young boy pulling the hem of Emily's pants to get some attention. The boy said:

"Ms. Lauren, can you be my Mommy?"

She opened her mouth wide and she did not understand anything there. She looked at Ian and he was also surprised by what his son had just asked. Emily bent down to talk to the boy:

"My sweet boy… Declan… I would be honor to take care of you like a mother… but you already have a mother…I would be proud to call you a son and I already love you like one…." She said it and gave him a big hug.

Ian looked at the boy and said:

"Go to Louise…"

After the boy was gone, Emily said:

"So weird… I mean… he took me totally by surprise…"

"He loves you, Lauren… it is just impossible not to love you… he adores you… you are so sweet with him all the time…"

"Yes… it must be this…"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Few weeks later:**

Ian was in a business travel for two days now. Emily was in their bedroom, in the Tuscany Ville castle. She was walking fast from one side to the other as Clyde was talking to her on the phone and saying that Interpol wanted to start to organize the ambush to arrest him definitely. She was terribly nervous because a huge part of her did not want this, but she just had no way out.

"Clyde… there are some things that I still have to do… please… I'll give you the signal…"

"Emily… it's past time… we have enough to put him away for the rest of his damn life and I can't wait to do this…say good-bye to your lovely happy life and your wild hot sex nights…"

It sounded like a punch in her stomach. She said:

"You're a selfish, crappy, worst kind of person…don't call me ever again!"

It was when she felt someone right beside her. She froze at the same time that her heart seemed to stop for a while as she had no idea for how long he was there. She slowly turned to face him. He said:

"Who was that love? It sounds like someone is harassing you… is it someone that I have to take care of personally with my hands?" Ian said gritting his teeth.

She walked from him avoiding eye contact. She said:

"No… it is just…. It is nothing important… really Ian… everything is alright…"

She was too nervous. Normally she used to act calm and controlled but now she was in a big torment in every aspects of her double life, it was just too much for her, she was only human after all. Her hands were trembling and her mind was sending signals for her hands to make some gestures to keep him away.

But, as if ignoring all the feelings that she was demonstrating, he approached, looking at her in the eyes all the time and said:

"If it was nothing important, why are you so nervous love?"

"It was an ex-boyfriend that keeps chasing me… I already changed my phone number but he just found out again… but he is not someone that is worth it to worry about…"

She was saying all that and walking through the room. Ian had to stop her. He grabbed her by the arm almost breaking it, tearing a moan of pain from her. He said:

"If I find out that you're cheating on me… I'll kill you and him with my own hands…"

She could see hatred in his eyes. But she was Emily Prentiss. She quickly get rid of his arms and walked far from him and she said:

"Listen to me, you Mr. Doyle… I don't need to do this… I am not your property… I do not belong to you… so get this straight: I am here because I want to and from the moment I do not want it anymore I will no longer be here… and you can count on it… I am not one of those bitches that you are used to…if I could not demonstrate with my actions how much I am involved in this relationship… I do not know what you want from me…"

She was fighting back tears as a big part of her was being totally honest there. He approached her and said:

"I am sorry… it drives me crazy to know that someone is chasing you…"

She said nothing as she was still hurt, not only because of this but for everything. He took a velvet small box from his suitcase and handed it to her, saying:

"I brought this for you..."

She had her arms crossed. She did not take it, so he opened the box and she could see that it was a diamond ring. She had tears in her eyes and she was not even a little surprised by that. She only said:

"I don't want rings, Ian… I just want you to love me…"

She did not have to ask twice as he grabbed her and she made love to him for the rest of the night as if it was the last time. She could not think about anything else. She only wanted him.

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**Few days later:**

"Aah! I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!"

She was playing with Declan around the coffee table.

"Hi…" She said to Ian as he approached them.

"Louise… Come take your boy, please…" Ian said.

The housekeeper took the boy to the kitchen.

"You ever think about that?" He asked her, smiling.

"Having kids? It would be a little hard with what we do, don't you think?" She said, trying to justify.

"Maybe you need the right man to do it with…And a son who's crazy about you…"

Now it was obvious that Declan was his son as she was having her suspicions already.

"I… I thought he was your housekeeper's…" She said.

"Louise raises Declan so no one can use him against me… But he's mine…And he needs a mother…"

She was in total shock again. She said:

"I can't do that… Not here…"

"Then I'll get you out…" He offered.

It was her very last try as if Lauren could give her last breath to survive over Emily. She said:

"Or… I could get you out… I have resources… Contacts… He would be safer… And he'd have a father…"

But what came after totally killed the Lauren inside her, he said:

"You know what I am, Lauren… A warrior… I lead warriors… I raise warriors… I can't just leave…"

"You want me to raise your son so he can have your life?"

"Is it that bad a life?"

"There are so many things I would do to make you happy… But I can't do this…"

By this time the little boy was there again. Emily bent down to hug to him and said:

"Go to your father…"

Her task had got a little more complicated now.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Few days later:**

She was impatient and nervous, just walking from one side to the other in the bedroom. Millions things had already crossed her mind, but one more abortion was not an option definitely.  
She had waited for him to leave the house, and she locked herself in the bathroom of their suite. She did what she had to do.  
"My God, a baby is now the last thing I need." She said to herself, in panic, in fear, her heart seemed small and almost not beating as if she could stop everything and just get out of this situation, while she was waiting the result to get ready.

But recalling the last times that they made love, everything had been so intense lately, because she knew that at any moment everything would become nothing and Lauren would be dead, and she would never see him again, at least, that was her thought. But she could not remember the occasion that the condom had broken.  
those were the longest five minutes of her entire life. She finally picked up the little stick in her hands to see the result.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment! Thank you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I OWN NOTHING**

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She was impatient and nervous, just walking from one side to the other in the bedroom. Millions things had already crossed her mind, but one more abortion was not an option definitely.

She had waited for him to leave the house, and she locked herself in the bathroom of their suite. She did what she had to do.

"My God, a baby is now the last thing I need." She said to herself, in panic, in fear, her heart seemed small and almost not beating as if she could stop everything and just get out of this situation, while she was waiting the result to be ready.

But recalling the last times that they made love, everything had been so intense lately, because she knew that at any moment everything would become nothing and Lauren would be dead, and she would never see him again, at least, that was her thought. But she could not remember the occasion that the condom had broken.

Those were the longest five minutes of her entire life. She finally picked up the little stick in her hands to see the result.

From the moment that the little stick was 'yelling' PREGNANCY, tears had fell down her face and she whispered something like::

"Oh, God…No… no… please… "

It could not be said that one of the main dreams of a woman like Emily Prentiss was to become a mother. That thought even had crossed her mind for a few times, from time to time, but it had never been something that she had planned for her. But even if one day this would happen, not even in her worst nightmare she could have imagined that it would happen in such a bad timing situation: get pregnant if the last person on Earth that she could.

Expert in human behavior, she knew that pregnancy had to be a magical moment in a woman's life, even if it was not planned.

There was no way out since now it was a fact: she was pregnant! She had Ian Doyle's genes in a baby inside her belly. Somehow, she would have to accept it and prepare herself to face any problems that could happen.

She knew that she would never have any kind of support about it from anyone, and what was hurting her the most was knowing in advance that she would bring into the world a child without a father, and she wondered what kind of mother she would be. Of course that she would try her best, but she had no idea how to raise a child and deal with a baby and anything, she had never even imagined this situation in her life. She touched her belly as if caressing it and she instantly regretted of her first momentary reaction, which was rejection, anger, fear and anguish.

"I will love you ... I'll love you until infinity and more… and you will keep Lauren always alive inside of me... "

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Next morning:**

The first one to wake up this morning was the little seed that was in Emily's belly. She was on the bathroom floor with her head on the toilet bowl, almost vomiting her soul most likely. She was in such a urgency to vomit that she did not even have time to lock the door. She was still on the floor, only giving some more time, waiting just in case that she would need to vomit more when she heard:

"What is it, love?"

Ian was at the door of the bathroom.

"Well… this is called 'vomit'… and it happens when you eat something that your system rejects some food that you might have eaten…"

"Lauren… I don't like this sarcastic side of yours… Anyways… should I buy a pregnancy test for you?"

She froze hearing this. Luckily for her, she was trying to get up from the floor so she had her backs to him and he could not see her worried face.

"I don't think it's necessary for now Ian… additionally we use condom, I'm on pills… so there is a very small chance of this being what you think this is…"

"… The condom broke for a few times… you know that right?"

She thought for a while and swallowed and said:

"Yeah… I know that… but like I said… I am on pills… and I am on pills since I was fifteen…"

He was putting toothpaste on toothbrush, and looking at her through the mirror, he said:

"You know Lauren… I think that it would be a good idea if we have a baby…"

She crossed her arms and leaned her left side against the wall and said:

"We talked about this not too long of a time ago… about Declan… I don't want this kind of life for him… what make you think I would want for our baby?"

He was spitting the contents of his mouth in the sink. He wiped his mouth with the towel, and looked at her to say:

"I don't get you sometimes, Lauren… you are in this kind of life… your life has all kinds of illegal things and as far as I know it's all by your choice… and sometimes you act as if this was a sacrifice or torment for you… I don't get this…"

"Ian… you said it correctly… it is MY choice… not Declan's or some baby that we might choose to have… if only you had accepted my offer… we could be a family…"

"He let out an angry sigh and went to the bedroom, being followed by her. He said:

"We've already talked about this, Lauren…"

He looked at her and kept saying:

"…I took my life to build this business… this empire… I am the number one in the world in this kind of business… you know what this means?"

"So you would rather to choose your business than to have a family?"

"I cannot see why I can't have both…"

"You just said, back on that day: you cannot even say that Declan is your son… to protect him! No one knows that he is your son… and I bet that inside his innocent mind he is so confused about which his own identity is that this will probably chase him for the rest of his life…this is not fair! This kind of life that we chose is our choice but we cannot decide this for them… for Declan and for a baby… it is up to them to decide, in the future… what he will want to be or do with his life! I wish you could see this, Ian…"

"He will inherit all this business… all this empire and I am sure he will not decline…I will leave this legacy to him and I would fail as father if he does not continue with this…"

"Well… to me, you are already failing as a father… and I would never have a child with you, Ian…"

She was broken inside and her only wish now was that this baby that she was carrying now would not inherit not even one of Doyle's genes.

**Later on that day**

She got out of the house so she could make a phone call:

"Sean… it's me…"

"Emily… did something happen?"

"Oh… nothing in particular… I need to know when all this will finish… I mean… I gave Interpol enough to arrest him… and… now… I really need to know… I'm in this mission for six months already… and I am living under the same roof as him for four months… I don't think that I will get any more relevant things on him… and … well… something happened but it only matters to me… it's about my personal life and I need to get out of this mission, Sean… I need to know a date…"

"Emily… we're finalizing his profile and we are deciding to which prison we're going to send him to…"

"What do you have in mind?"

"…Maybe Russia…we are not sure yet…"

"Well, Sean… how long will this take still? I cannot wait too much anymore…"

She was extremely worried that Ian could notice something and find out that she was pregnant and notice the changes on her body.

"Emily.. I think no more than one month…"

"…One month?" She sighed in disappointment.

"Maybe less… but I cannot be sure… I mean… I cannot give you the exact date…"

After that phone call, she went home walking. It was a distance of twenty blocks or so, but she would take this moment to think. Walking slowly, hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket, she was walking looking at the ground, wondering all the steps and decisions she made in her life that led to where she was now.

She remembered about herself and when she was a little child who lived locked in her own world, a fact that had led her to stimulate her thought and her imagination since at a young age. Sorely lacking of affection and attention she tried to 'escape' of that prison (that was her life), by reading books, about all kinds of imaginable subjects.

But this search for trying to understand everything and everyone, she ended up following this path: try to understand how the human mind works, but even before graduating in any university course, she already had a lot of knowledge on the subject. She was always early at everything, and totally independent.

For a long time she wanted to be one of those people who just do not think, just live the moment, but she was like that, she was this, that was her personality and at any moment she was thinking, reflect and imagine, for often, it was just too much that it could hurt so big that the restlessness was.

But she could not blame anyone for her own choices. She herself had put her in that situation. Why? She did not know, perhaps because her life was so empty and meaningless that she was in need of some emotion? Could it have been different? She would never know.

But she was never a woman to take the easy path. She was courageous and brave, and she would face it with the same strength as ever.

Part of her was totally in love with this man, but the other part knew that she could not be happy with someone who puts money and power above that which makes us human beings: the feelings.

She herself was not a person given to sentimentality, but because she had been trained hard for this, she always heard that feeling is for the weak people. But deep down all that she wanted was to be loved. And what is this if not the biggest weakness of all? She tasted how it was like to be loved, and she liked a lot! Surely she would come out of this experience being a very different person, with a certain twinge in the conscience, yes, but the very final choice was his. He had decided which his final act would be.

She had offered to save him from this life, from himself, even when she could not do this. But he did not want, he had not accepted and this had brought some new information to her, and it had killed a bit of what she was feeling for him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She finally got home. Declan was in the living room. He was on his knee making a drawing on the coffee table.

"Hi, Ms. Lauren, I am making a drawing for you…"

"Ohhh… how sweet… can I see it?"

"It is not ready yet… I'll show you when it's ready…"

"Hmm, okay…so… I'm going to take a shower so you can finish it…okay?"

"Okay, Ms. Lauren…"

She caressed him on the hair and went upstairs. She was already thinking about a plan to keep this child safe after Ian was caught. She felt a little guilty about this because she knew how very close they were, and how much he loved his father, his only family. She could not tell even to Interpol people that Ian had this son. She needed to think fast about something to keep him safe.

When she came back to the living room, she saw Ian and he had the little boy sitting on his lap and he was showing the drawing to his father.

Ian smiled at her while she was coming downstairs. She smiled back but it was a sad smile. She just could not pretend anymore, she was on the limit of her mental strength, of all her forces. She joined him.

"Look, love… he made a drawing of our family…"

Emily sat on the sofa near them and she took a look at the drawing. It was a little boy, and a man, and two women, representing Ian, Lauren and Louise, also a beautiful house on the back and a dog.

Poor child, so innocent, Emily thought.

"Wow… you must be an artist… this is so beautiful and touching… I really loved it…"

"Thank you, Ms. Lauren… this is for you…"

He handed the drawing to her. She shared a look with Ian and both of them knew very well every single word that was implicit on that look.

"Oh… Thank you so much… I loved it… I'll keep this with me forever… I promise..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Few days later:**

She woke up in the middle of the night. Ian was not in the bed so she looked around. She could see that he was in the balcony of the bedroom. She got up from the bed. She dressed her cetin black robe and walked to him. He was only standing there, looking at the moon and smoking a cigarette. As soon as he saw her, he offered the cigarette for her.

"Ah, no… thanks…"

"You have not been drinking or smoking lately…"

It was more like a question. She said:

"I'm trying to quit smoking…"

"Hmm…"

He took one last drag on his cigarette and put it out, pulling her into his arms for a hug in the sequence.

She cuddled up in his strong arms, hugging him tight and for a moment she wished that the world could end right there at this moment so she would not have to face everything that she could already see coming.

It was a long hug.

"You've been quite quiet lately, love…"

"I've always been a thoughtful person…"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Ian… somehow, we know that this will not work…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know… it is just a feeling… sometimes I feel that a big part of me does want you… but wants only part of you… you know that all of us has two parts inside of us… and the part that always will prevail is the part that we 'feed' the most part of time… so it is like the wrong part of me wants the wrong part of you… but I have this other side… I don't know how to explain… I am afraid… I don't want my wrong side to prevail for the rest of my life… but I know you do… so somehow, someday I know our paths will lead our lives to different ways…"

He kissed her on the forehead and said:

"Don't worry about this now, love…"

Still in his arms, she looked at him with her dark mysterious look and she said:

"Ian… whatever happens in the future… know that I really loved you… and in all our moments… it was all true…I mean… with this kind of life that we both have… we don't know if we're going to be alive tomorrow… so in advance I want you to know this… I love you and you make me feel alive and make me feel like a very loved woman…"

She said this as she was lifting his shirt, which was in his pants in backs, just a little so she could feel his skin. By the touch of her hands, he kissed her on the mouth. She returned the kiss as if she needed this to continue alive. She knew that the 'home sweet home' of Lauren Reynolds was coming to an end.

Few minutes later, they were in bed as in her mind she knew that this was about to end anytime and this could be the last time with him. It would not to be about sex.

It was the last breath of Lauren Reynolds. She was holding back all the tears she wanted to let out. She had never given herself to anybody like that. She would make love to him without shame, without restriction, without guilt, just enjoying the moment.

It was like she was tearing her body and soul to him and then she could die, and if it was not for this baby that she was carrying she including had considered telling him the truth and just run away with him even knowing that he could kill her. At least, she would not have to see him being taken away with her help.

Her mind was too confused now between the two identities, Lauren and Emily. The thing was that Emily had never really had a personal life, and Lauren had lived intensively and fully, every drop of her deep secret desires. Lauren had lived in six months what Emily had not lived in her whole life, in her love life.

They were making love in the silence of the dark bedroom. Their bodies were entwined in bed, only with the discrete sound of her moans, and the warmth of his body.

It was not like all the other times where she used to simply close her eyes and completely surrender to the pleasure only, and to the passion. Now it was different: she wanted to see, to feel, every moment, every gesture of his, she wanted every bit of him. It was an act almost as subtle as the curtain voile shaking there at the exit to the balcony.

She wanted not only to feel but to see every bit of his tongue traveling all over her body, slowly savoring every pore of hers, until he reaches behind her ear, matching the perfect moment that she was fully ready for him, completing her in the most literal way, eliciting a groan from her almost like a pain, but not pain because of the act, but because of the situation, so overwhelming that she could hardly hold back the tears. While he made his way inside and outside of her, she mentally wished that it never came to an end, her hands were on his backs, caressing and holding him, as if she wanted to be even closer. She would enjoy until the last second until he floods her with all his passion.

Much time later, which seemed like hours, but they were not hours, he was no longer holding up. Normally, he always waited for her, but today she seemed not even close, then he whispered to her:

"Lauren, love ... I cannot hold it anymore ..."

She kissed him on the ear and whispered:

"That's okay, babe ... I feel totally complete with your love already ..."

He emptied his contents into her, and it was like the final act of Lauren. She knew that she would have to start to forget that one day she was Lauren Reynolds, the woman who was letting slip through fingers an overwhelming passion.

He was getting up from the bed, when she said:

"Where are you going?"

"I'll smoke a cigarette ..."

"…Stay here, please ..."

He looked at her pleading eyes, and somehow he saw in them all the sincerity. He did not even get out of bed, and he put her in a hug, so she was lying on his chest while he was stroking her hair.

At that moment, she could leave that pain that was hurting her soul would translate into tears. It was the sorrow for words that could not be said, for not being able to share the sublime moment of carrying a baby, his baby! The pain of knowing that she would go out of his life without even a proper goodbye, and it could be tomorrow! She could not help thinking how ungrateful life is, or how much all the hope is always in vain, she wondered how much would be left to her after that, if the carnal distance would erase the love that was stuck in her heart now. It was not supposed to be like that, it was not part of the plan to fall in love. But, maybe this was her punishment.

That night she could not sleep. She wanted to enjoy every single minute with him. She was just listening to his breathing while he was sleeping and the remorse and guilt were consuming her, while she was thinking to herself: 'I am so sorry, Ian… I wish I could tell you that I am carrying our baby that was conceived from the love we feel... I am also sorry of what is going to happen to you... I just wish you had taken my offer to get out of this business…'

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Next morning:**

Emily was in the garden dealing with some flowers while Ian was on the balcony on the phone talking about business. Suddenly, three black cars parked on the sidewalk and two men grabbed her by the arm and put her into the car. She only said:

"I want to talk to Sean…"

From above, he could see when they were taking her. They shared a very last look and he instantly knew.

"…They got her…" He said still on the phone.

"Drop the phone… Get on the ground now…" They were pointing guns to him.

Ian totally ignored and stayed on the phone. He said:

"…Based on their shoes and shades, I'd say CIA… But it could be MI5, ICC, Interpol…"

"Hey! I'm not going to tell you again…On the ground-now!" The guys insisted.

"Hold on… Kill me or arrest me, but I will not lay on the ground like a dog…"

And he finished the phone call:

"I gotta go… Stay on top of this… I'll speak to you soon…"

He dropped the phone on the ground and they finally arrested him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Okay guys, thank you so much for the ones is reading and the ones are commenting. This means a lot to me. Well, I am kind of sad because one huge friend of mine said she does not read my stories because they are not correct. Well, English is not my language and I am trying my best, I really am! But in advance I apologize and it would be really important to me to hear about how terrible my English is. So, please, I'd like to hear your opinion so I can improve somehow or if it is too bad… I can consider to stop writing. Thank you so much again.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She was being taken in that Interpol car at a high speed through the small streets of the village of Tuscany, and she had no idea where she was being taken to.

On that small trip, every single detail was coming back like in flashes in her mind, since the beginning, since the first time that she had put her eyes on him and that his hands touched hers, and she was fighting back the damn tears, but in vain: she was crying a lot! A huge part of her wanted to go back there now.

She wanted to be with him. She wanted at least to have a chance to try to apologize to him. She wanted a chance to say again to him that it was all truth, that the most important that was her feelings, they were all truth. She wondered what would be going through his mind right now.

Would instantly all the love that he said he felt for her had already turned into hate? Will her one day be able to get over this? Will her one day she be able to forget him? Or she would have to face him, through the little baby that she was carrying in her belly, in those deep blue eyes of him? It was like a war in her mind.

After about half an hour, the car parked in front of a Hotel. She was escorted by three guards until one of the rooms in the Hotel. As soon as they opened the door, she could see that Clyde was inside there waiting for her. They left her there with him.

Clyde had never imagined that this mission would be anything easy, but he had no idea that she would end up so devastated like that. He could see into her eyes that she had been crying and she had only stopped crying because he was there and she would not do this in front of him. He kind of tried to approach her and he said:

"Emily… you did a very good job… you know…"

It was the last thing that she wanted to listen. She said:

"Where is my medal? I thought you would have it for me…" She was being ironic.

He did not answer, of course.

"Where is Sean?" She asked.

"He is in London… he sent me to pick you up… he could not come…"

"What? He could not come… I need to talk to him…" She could not believe it.

"Well, Emily… you'll have to wait… we have tickets for tomorrow morning to London…"

"There is something that I need to do here first…" She said.

"You cannot leave the Hotel… don't make me tie you… you that bastard has an army of men and if one of his men sees you… you're dead…"

"Don't worry about me, Clyde…"

"I am only trying to protect you!"

"Fuck! I don't need protection… I just want to be alone now, Clyde… and I do not want to talk anymore at this moment… please… leave me alone…"

"Emily… Look… I know that this was not easy for you… but I always consider you are dear friend… even though you hate me the majority of the time… However, I am here for you and whatever you need… you can count on me…. I want to help you as I know something is troubling you very deeply... It would help to get it off your chest…"

"…Something is troubling me…" She repeated his words and smiled sarcastically.

"… You keep talking like if I was in a vacation trip… you have no idea what I am going through now, Clyde… please… Just leave me alone…"

"Okay… I will… but don't leave the Hotel…It's for your security…"

She did not even answer.

As soon as he left, she threw herself in the bed and hugged the pillow strong as she was in need of a hug and also she could use the pillow to muffle the sound of her screams and pain. She was wearing the necklace ring that Ian had given to her. The only thing that she could think now was about him being taken to a prison and what things they could be doing to him, and she felt like a punch in her stomach to each kick or punch that he could be taking now. She felt like if it was on her, plus all the guilty, because she knew that she was the main and only connection between him and Interpol.

She cried in despair for an hour or so, but she knew that she had not much time to waste now. She had something really important to do. She then sat on the bed and wiped the tears with her hands. She thought for a while and made a phone call:

"Louise… it's me… do not say my name and do not repeat anything… please… meet me in an hour in that coffee shop that we stopped when we were taking Declan to see that doctor, remember? … It was about two months ago? Take him with you… don't let anyone to follow you…and bring all your and his documents and passports…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily was there impatient, waiting for Louise and Declan. They finally were there now.

It was a very discrete place and she had taken a table in bottom of the salon. They approached the table and sat. Emily said:

"Louise… Look… it is not safe for Declan to live here anymore after what happened to Ian… you'll have to leave the country with him… you'll have to be with him, please…"

"I love this boy like my own son… you don't need to ask me this, Ms. Reynolds…"

"I know you do… and I know that you will do everything to protect him… here is enough money for you to get to this address in America… once there, there will be a man, a very good friend of mine… that will be waiting for you two there… Please… no one can know about this, Louise… you'll have to go now to the airport… I will meet you two there, in Boston…"

Emily gave a paper to her with an address and a lot of money. She knew that she would have to fake their death but she would do this in America. She knew that this would be the only way to protect Declan. She would provide another name and ID for him so he could have a normal life.

Emily was trying to be 100% rational there. She was including avoiding looking at Declan to not break down there. But the little boy approached her to talk to her, very close. He left Louise's lap and walked the other side of the table to talk to Emily. He said:

"Ms. Lauren… I'll never see daddy again?"

She had to look at him. She could not avoid anymore. She looked at him and she instantly remembered Ian's eyes. Fighting back tears, she opened her mouth and she wished she could have beautiful things to say to him, but she knew that she could not lie to him, so she only said:

"I… I don't know…"

Seeing that the boy was waiting for more answers, she took the boy on her own lap, and added:

"I am so sorry, sweetie… things got bad because of your daddy's work… it is so hard to explain all this to you right now… but just keep in mind how much your daddy always loved you… and that he'll always love you so much... you'll have a wonderful life, Declan… I promise you… I'll do the possible and impossible to protect you and give you a decent life that you deserve to have…and one day, I'm sure you will understand all of this…"

She caressed him on the face and kissed him on the cheek.

"Louise… I'll have to go now… this man, Tom Koehler, he will be waiting for you… please… go now to the airport and don't talk to anyone… you are only traveling with your son... as soon you get the airport in America, you take a cab and go straight to this address…Please… take care…"

"So do you, Ms. Reynolds…"

Emily left the place before them. She fixed the scarf again around her face and hair and everything, she was also wearing big sunglasses again, and she went back to the Hotel, to the same room. Once there, as soon as she opened the door, Clyde was there. He said:

"Are you fucking crazy or what? We faked a car accident to pretend that Lauren Reynolds is dead! …AND YOU JUST LEAVE THE HOTEL? …ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, EMILY! …IF SOMEONE OF HIS TEAM SEES YOU?"

"Clyde… Do me a favor and leave me alone… You do not get to give me any more orders… I did so much for this job and the whole Interpol team that I deserve you leave me alone and abide by my wishes to let me do what I please right now.… I deserve some rest and some peace of mind and I want to be left alone now…"

"Thank God this shit is ending!" He left the bedroom, slamming the door.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**London, Interpol office:**

Everybody that had been part of the special task force called JTF-12, was there now, celebrating the success of the plan: Ian Doyle was in jail and the Valhalla faction no longer existed.

"I have the best team in the world… I'd like to say that each one of you had a very important part to put away this dangerous criminal and Interpol will make sure that he will never see the light of the day again…" Sean said.

"I Hope that he rot in that hell that he was sent…" Jeremy said.

"He is so evil that I am not sure if he will rot in prison or if he will rot 'the' prison…" Clyde joked.

"Well… I think we deserve a long vacation now after so many months working in a row on this case…" Tsia said.

Emily, so far, was only observing and each bad thing they were saying about Ian was like they were hurting her. She only wanted to vanish from there. She said:

"Well, Sean… is this meeting finished already? I mean… is there something else that you need to talk to us? I am so done with all of this…"

"I'll ask you all to keep this file close to you… not that we'll need… but just in case… but I really wish any of us need to open this file again…"

Each member of the team had received a file with all the papers related to this big operation, including pictures, documents, pen-drive, and everything. Emily was the first one to get up from the round table. She approached Sean and said:

"You have a minute? There is something important that I really need to talk to you…"

"Yeah… let's go to my office…"

Once there in his office:

"Emily… really… I'd like to thank you again… you did an excellent job and…"

She cut him off:

"Sean… please… this whole thing really messed up with my life in a way that I don't want to even talk about… I'll only say this to you because it involves bureaucratic work issues…"

"Hmm… okay… I am all ears…"

"I am going back to America… I will not work for Interpol anymore… and this a fact… and I will not change my mind… my place is there and that is what I want…"

"Ouch… that will be a pity for all of us and Interpol… I am really sorry for that… you are one of our best agents that we have ever had… but it looks like this is not opened for discussion… we seem don't even have a conversation in here since you said you'll not change your mind… what do you need then?"

Emily was nervous. It would not be easy to tell this to him. She wished she did not have to tell, but she did not have another option now. She got up from the chair and walked a little in the office. Then she looked at him he was sitting on his chair at his desk. She said:

"Sean… something that was not in plans happened… and I will need full support from Interpol… even though I am moving back to America I will need Interpol's full support for a long time now…"

Sean was not understanding anything, he crossed his arms and kept paying full attention to her. She looked at him and said:

"I'm pregnant…"

At this moment, Jeremy had opened the door. It was clear that he could listen what she had just said.

"Ops, I am sorry, Sean… I did not know Emily was here…"

He looked at Emily and said:

"I'm sorry again…"

He closed the door and left.

The less people know about this, it was better for Emily. She did not want that all of them to know about this. She was only telling Sean because he was responsible for her there. She also had no idea that eight years later, Jeremy would be the one who would sell important information about her to Ian Doyle. For now, she was cool.

"Are you pregnant… wow… Emily…I don't know what to say… I mean… it was supposed for you to be careful…"

"Sean… I will not discuss about this… only I know what I went through and everything that happened to me…"

"Okay… what do you need?"

"I need my rights, Sean… I will go back to America but I want my salary during all the pregnancy period and during six months of maternity leave… then I'll resign for good from Interpol…"

"Sure, Emily… anything… if you need medical or psychological counseling… or anything else…"

"No, Sean… I only need the money so I can fix things in my life in America… very far from here…"

"Okay… thank you again… you did a great job…"

She was leaving his office but she turned to look at him again and say:

"I can say that I gave my life for this job… for this operation… because I am no longer the person I was before…"

"I am so sorry, Emily…"

"I will be okay… thank you, Sean…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

And there she was, Emily Prentiss, on a plane flying back to America. She was making a mental retrospect now, more rational than before, thinking about everything that had happened in the last six months of her life. Heroine of a people, but a villain of herself: It was a fact that she would never understand. Consciousness could not be in peace because she did exactly what he was told, but she had betrayed her own love, her only love. It had no place to rest it. Would she have a different path for her in America? She only wanted an opportunity to start a new life with her baby, a fresh clean start and have something to build upon for the two of them and give them some peace and happiness. Right now, she was just feeling so lonely and she so needed a hug, she needed only to be hugged and hear that everything would be alright, but she was clinging on to hope that she would find something better in America because she had to. She liked to think so, because she was not going back alone.

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**So guy… what you hope for our dear Emily in America? Thanks for reading and give me your suggestions if you have some… and sorry for bad English…**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily had asked her friend Tom to bring Declan and Louise to the warehouse where Ian used to use for business.

She was wearing dark clothes and she had a gun and sauce and everything she needed to fake their deaths. She had already explained to them what was going on. Declan would be sent to a boarding school but he would be registered as Tom's son, and he would have a home to go back to on weekends. Louise would stay in the house.

"Ms. Reynolds, are you sure that all of this is necessary? Louise asked.

"Louise… I am so sorry… but I would not be doing this if it was not extremely necessary… Declan's life is in danger… they can torture him and do horrible things to him, to make his father talk about things they need to know…"

Emily was helping them to get dirty with the sauce to make things look like they were bloody.

Tom took the photos of them, pretending that they were being shot. After the pictures were taken, Declan said to Emily:

"I look pretty good for a dead kid, don't I?"

"Yeah… you look pretty good, sweetie…"

Emily wondered how much that little boy knew what was really going on and she prayed for his understanding was just a little.

"Louise… There is a private plane waiting for you and Declan in the building coverage… thank you so much for everything and for being with him… I am sorry but like I said… this was the only way I found to keep him safe… Tom is going with you…"

They had new ID's and names, and Emily could finally try to go back to what she really was: Emily Prentiss.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She went to the airport to catch a flight to DC. She arrived at DC airport as it was around eight at night. It was a feeling like she was coming back home. She could feel it in the air. It was almost like the city was giving her the hug that she was so in need of since the last happenings.

Her first thinking was going to a Hotel. But now, she had to think about the baby and not only about herself. She would have to start to make some changes in her life, starting by leaving the pride aside.

So, she went to Ambassador's mansion.

While she was waiting in the living room, while one of the employees had gone to let her mother know that she was there, she was looking around that huge place and it did not seem that she had spent a big part of her childhood there in that house, maybe it was because she had lived like around twenty, or more, in different houses around the world.

She was walking slowly around the room, looking at the impeccable furniture and expensive works of art and some family photos framed, while she was waiting for her mother.

She was so in need of hug and her mother would be the first familiar face that she would see since the turbulent last six months of her life. She was hurt, sad, confused, lost, worried, and everything. But she knew that it would not be now that she would be hugged as she did not want to show weakness to her mother.

"Em? Wow! Am I dreaming? This must be a dream because you are the last person I expected to see here… It is a real pleasant surprise! What do I owe you for this treasured visit? It must be one of those special miracle orbits of asteroids or magic winds that blew you here to my door… Oh, my God… you look horrible! What happened to you?"

"Thanks, Mother…" She was being sarcastic, of course.

"Did you have dinner? Should I ask them to prepare a dinner for you?"

Emily really could not remember the last time that she had a good and healthy meal. She did not feel hungry for a long time. But she had a baby growing inside her. She knew that she had to feed herself with something more than alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. But, for now she said:

"No, thank you, Mother, because I cannot eat right now as I feel so very nauseous and there is a real reason why I look so awful as you so wonderfully put it…"

"So... let's have a seat as I have a feeling that this is not only a courtesy visit…"

Emily usually would never ask her multimillionaire Mother for anything, but now she was thinking more of her baby that she was carrying. She said:

"Well, Mother, yes, there is a huge reason why I am here… This surprises me too that I would come here and ask for your help… but I really do need your help right now…"

"Since this has nothing to do with Interpol… you know I never liked the idea of you working for Interpol… I know their methods of work that they use and I never wanted this for you… this last mission you worked for took what? …a year or so? I really hope you're back for good, Em… What do you need?"

"What I DON'T need is a speech, Mother… well... I just arrived from London and I am receiving good money from Interpol but it is not enough and I will have to wait to get more… and... Well… I want to know if one of your properties is available… I mean… I could rent an apartment now but with all the bureaucracy involved you know… I can pay a rent to you…"

Ambassador cut her off, saying:

"Em, Em… you offend me talking like that…. Of course one of my properties is available to you… Someday all of my properties will belong to you… all of them… you know that…"

Ambassador kept saying:

"Well...there is the house on Dupont Circle and another one on Logan Circle that are totally available now as the former tenants were destroying the place so I had to 'invite' them to leave the house, through my lawyers…"

"Mother… I just want a small place… an apartment…"

"Nonsense, Em… you should take the best and most spacious property I have... Only the best for my daughter… but whatever you want, if you want the smallest then you should take whatever you want… Whatever you need or want is all yours… I will ask Silas to take care of it…"

"Yes, please, mother… I have no place to go now…"

"Oh, anyone hearing you talking like this will think that you are homeless… for God's sake Emily! Stop talking like a loser…"

Emily gave a sarcastic smile and said:

"Somehow I am…"

Then Emily added:

"I know I am not a loser, Mother… I am a Prentiss like you and you keep telling me that we are fighters, strong, willed and winners, but I am also human and I learned in the hardest way that there is some situations that we just cannot do anything about but accept… and the situation that I am in right now is like a losing situation…"

"…Something that you want to tell me?"

Emily looked down and took a deep breath; she looked at her mother and said:

"Mother… I cannot share with you things that happened in this mission… because it's part of a big and secret Interpol's operation as this cannot be revealed… I did what was asked of me to do… the most perfect way as possible… but in the end of the day it looked like I was the only one that was losing something… and something important… and something happened during this operation that will reflect in who I am now and the rest of my life… and this you will have to know somehow… someday… so I'll tell you now…"

"Well, come on, Em, do not keep me in suspense anymore, I am dying to know… I know this is a huge thing since you are here asking me for a place to stay… This here from you I would never expect to see in a million years… You need to spit it out and tell me now before I burst and explode…"

Emily was sitting in a red velvet armchair, while Ambassador was near her, sitting on the comfortable sofa. Emily looked at her mother and said:

"I'm... pregnant ..."

For one minute, she felt like she was that innocent girl at age of fifteen trying to tell her mother that she was pregnant.

And it truly felt like this when she saw Ambassador's face. She opened her mouth but not too much, as she wanted to hide all her disappointment. Ambassador seemed to be swallowing an elephant as this was so hard for her to take this news. Emily mentally cursed herself for still needing her mother's approval. Emily said:

"…Say something…"

Ambassador got up from the sofa and started to take a few steps around the room, squeezing her own hands, and thinking. She looked at Emily and said:

"Is there something more that you want to tell me?"

As an expert in human behavior, Emily already knew what her mother was talking about. She said:

"No, mother… there is nothing more that I can tell…"

Her mother said nothing. Emily kept saying:

"…I know that you want to hear that I am getting married to an important person and that we're giving a big and posh ceremony and that we will have a perfect family and everything… but none of this is going to happen… I am so sorry to disappoint you… I am only telling you this because sooner or later you would have to know and I thought that it would be less worst if you heard it from me…"

"Emily… yeah… I have to confess… this is very far from what I had envisioned for you… you are my only daughter… and yes I had big dreams for you… to continue our name… our family… as you are always such a very intelligent woman with a lot of elegance… but you always had this rebel side... Yes… I am very disappointed… but I love you even though you never felt my love for you… I will support you and help you with whatever you need…"

"Right now I only need a place to live…"

"Em… I can see it in your eyes that you're feeling all alone… pregnant and this must be the scariest thing for you right now… Even though I might be disappointed about all this… I want to be there for you… during all the way… as I was never there for you the majority of your life… But I want to be there for you now…"

"Thank you, mother… you are already helping me by letting me be in one of your apartments… this will help me a lot…"

"Do you need any money or something else?"

"No, Mother… Interpol will keep paying me until the baby is born and until my baby is six months… but thank you…"

*Moments of silence*

"Should I ask about the father of this baby? Will he be a part of your life, or the baby's life at least?"

"No… Mother my baby's father will not be a part of our lives… and I do not want to talk about him… It is very sad but it's the reality… but I will love my baby even double to make up the fact that he or she will not have her father in his or her life… Sorry, Mother, I cannot talk about who the father is and talk about him… but know that we will be okay…"

"Well… you are thirty-two… you are a grown woman… I can only support you in everything you need… and the choices for your life… and for your baby's life is yours…"

"Thank you, Mother…."

"So… are you ready to remember your old bedroom?"

Emily looked at her mother surprised as if she was not understanding anything. Ambassador gently placed her arm on Emily's backs and arms as if she was kind of guiding her. She said:

"You're staying here for two or three days until you can move into your apartment… you can redecorate the apartment on your own ways and we can make a cute bedroom for the baby… well… we will have to wait to see if it is a girl or a boy… also… I still have some of your cute stuffed animals and dolls… if your baby is a girl then you can give them to her…. I kept this all for you in a safe place... If your baby is a boy he would love the stuff animals and I know not your dolls…"

She kind of felt loved and supported.

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**At the same time in Chicago:**

Morgan's family was having a nice dinner all together.

"So, Derek, how is the new job at the FBI?"

"Oh, Mom… it is not THAT new… it has been six months already… well… the job is all the most darkness things in the world we see there and happening all the time… but we are all so grateful when you are able to save one life… only one… makes you feel so good and wanting to continue doing it… and…I'll have to say… I found a second family in them… in the people that I work with… which is so cool since it's very rare I can come and stay with you all here where I really feel at home…"

"…Or maybe you can consider starting your own family…" Desiree teased.

Derek started to whistle pretending that he did not understand what she meant.

"…Yeah… C'mon, Derek… you're the older one… we are crazy to have children running through this house…" Sarah said.

"Mama is dying to be a grandma…" Desiree added.

"Okay, okay, girls… listen to your older big brother here and open your ears to get this straight: I will never get married… I feel very cool living this life of a player… I will never fall in love with anyone… Love is not for me! …and if Mama wants grandchildren… you two should get started…"

"Hahaha… you say this now… But when the love bug hits you…you will take back everything you said here about not getting married…" Sarah said.

"Yeah...I can already see him bringing breakfast for her in bed every day!" Desiree said.

"Yes… and cleaning the house better than Mama only for her…" Sarah said.

"…and him proposing to her on his knees… hahahaha…" Desiree said.

"…and I can see him doing everything for her… like licking the floor she steps on…"

"Okay… Mom… please… control your daughters… none of this will ever happen! I promise…"

"Ugh… Okay… let's make a bet, then… if you are so sure…" Sarah said.

"Anything you want…" Derek said.

"You will make breakfast in bed for us… and be our personal maid… clean our bedroom and bathroom… and be at our service… every time that you come to visit us…"

"Deal! You know I would never like doing these things… so I am betting this because I am so confident that I will never marry!"

"Oh, no, no… I don't want this burden on your brother's shoulders… I don't approve of this bet.… stop with this…" Fran said.

"Oh, Mom… he suggested this…" Desiree said.

"I know… I know… but I know more about life than you three together… so just stop with this…"

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**About an hour later:**

Derek was on the front porch of the house. He was stirring in his cell phone and smiling. Fran could see that he was smiling as he was texting to someone by the cellphone. Fran approached him sitting on the other rocking chair near him and said:

"…Someone special?"

He looked at his mother and said:

"Ah… nope…"

"I could see a special smile on your face…" Fran added.

"…yeah… but only because she was telling me how hot I am… and other things that I don't dare to say to my mother…"

The moment he said it, he was looking at his mother and she could see that he actually did not have that special glare into his eyes, typical of a person who is in love.

"Derek...I know that nowadays thirty-two years old for a man is still too young to get married and have a family… but don't talk like that… I mean… I don't like when you talk the way you did during the dinner… my heart grieves every time you say you will never get married and have a family… I am not saying for you to get married only for the marriage with any ordinary person… but you should start by stop saying these things… sometimes… when we throw something to the universe… it can be thrown back at us… our words have power…"

By this time, Derek had already stopped texting to the girl.

"Mom… I got it… I know exactly what you are talking about… I agree in everything you said… but the thing is that I can't find anyone… don't you think I am tired of behaving this way? Sometimes I feel like a real pig… but I just can't feel love… I don't think I ever will fall in love in my lifetime…"

"Derek… we all feel like this… some people take too long to find a real love but that one is the best… this will happen when you least expect it… like it did for me with your father… When the right moment comes she will find you by entering in your life…"

"I don't know, Mom… I am sure this will never happen to me… it always like that: I meet a girl… she is nice… we get together… but the other day or days after… I look at her and I only feel nothing… so I just assumed that I am a player and I will never fall in love and I will never feel that thing so special that make people do everything for the other person like my sisters were saying… I just cannot understand this…"

Fran touched his hands making him look at her, and said:

"…Stop saying these things… take care of yourself, of your soul and feelings… and she will find you… I promise…"

**At the very same time, in DC:**

Emily was lying in same bed of when she was a teen. It was late night in DC already, since it is one hour ahead of Chicago, and she was too damn tired because of the last happenings. She was thinking heavens that the talk with her mother had not been so difficult. She could turn back the attention to her baby, to her situation, and try to think from now on. But with the head on that pillow, there was no way that she would not think about Ian, and everything that she had done to him, and the pain that she was feeling was so strong still. She curled into herself, while the tears started to wet the pillow.

**Chicago, at the very same time:**

Fran kept saying, while holding Derek's hand:

"…Right now…at this very moment... somewhere in the world... there is a very special woman waiting for some brave and strong man, just like you... to wipe her tears off...and love her… and she will make you so happy… you just have to be open up to it… and, at the right moment... you'll bump into her…. And from the moment when you look into her eyes… you will know it…"

Fran snapped her fingers in the air, and completed the sentence:

"…She is the one!"

She smiled at him and Derek smiled as well, and he felt comforted by his mother's words. He looked at the sky, to the shining stars and said:

"…I hope you're right and I find her…"

Fran gave two slight gentle slaps on the top of his hands, as if caressing it, and said:

"…You will, dear… you will…"

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**Thank you for reading AND please, leave a comment!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys! Missed you all. Hope you all are doing great! I used a song in this chapter so if you turn on the song and listen along with the reading it would be cool. The song is "Angels", Robbie Williams. Good reading.**

**I own nothing**

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She was there in the baby's bedroom, she was fixing the last details of the decoration. She was now hanging up a white 'ballerina mobile', above the cradle.

The bedroom was now fully decorated in white and some nuances of very light pink.

There was a dresser with a diaper changer on it, also a wardrobe, a cradle, a nice armchair for Emily to be there with her, and lots of cute Teddy bears and some dolls since she knew already that knew that her baby would be a girl.

She was eight months pregnant already. She had spent the whole pregnancy practically alone at the apartment that Ambassador had given in to her. She was redecorating it, and she was also decorating the bedroom for her baby girl.

During all these six months as she was two months pregnant when Ian was arrested, she was trying to prepare herself to face the moment of the birth as she knew that she would have to do that alone all the way.

If it was other times, she would just try to fool herself by mentally reaffirm that she was a strong person and that she could perfectly face everything alone and blah blah blah.

Well, she had been put in a situation now that she knew that she had to figure out, in a hard way, that she was not as strong as she was thinking that she was, like she had always heard, but also that she did not have to be, and it was perfectly normal to have weakness and everything because this would make her feel more human and she would fit better in her own skin.

She could not deny that she wanted the father of her baby there with her all the time, during every step of the way. Even so, even that those six months that she was alone had spent flying, she could not help but still think about Ian every time that she put her head on the pillow, or every time that she was thinking about her baby and how her little girl would look like.

She looked around in the baby's bedroom and everything was perfect, only waiting for her baby to come to this world and she still would have to wait one month or so to finally see the face of her baby for the first time as she was so anxious waiting for this like it was keeping her alive, and it would be the main reason she was living for.

She gently touched her big belly with the two hands. She took a deep breath as she was tired. She said:

"Well, Anna, it looks like everything is ready now… I hope you like your bedroom… Mommy did everything only thinking about you and in all the best for you, sweetie… Did you like it?"

She was only wondering out loud but little Anna seemed to be willing to interact and she did somehow.

"O.o… yeah… ohh… I got it…I got it… what are you trying to say, sweetie…I hope that is that you like it…"

Emily smiled as the exactly moment that she was talking to her baby, Anna started to move inside her belly.

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**Few weeks later:**

It was late night already. She was in front of the big mirror of the bathroom of her suite. She would take another photo for Anna's album. She had taken photos of each month of the pregnancy.

She looked at the image of her belly reflected on the mirror and smiled and took the photo. Then, she looked at her face on the mirror, at her eyes, and they were much darker than usual. She took a deep breath realizing that despite all the effort she was doing to try to look ahead always and think only about the future and about her baby girl she could see that she still had all the bad feelings that the undercover mission had left impregnated in her soul.

She swallowed and she did not like the image of herself that she was looking now. Not the external and physical appearance, but what her eyes were showing about her most dark secrets, what they were showing about her most deep feelings, and that they seemed to not have life at all. She knew that this was not good for the baby. One life was being produced inside her in the middle of those terrible and dark feelings. But she was already to be born at any time, so was not now too late to try a change? This brought tears to her eyes and she could not stand to continue facing her own image at the mirror.

She went to the bed and she got under the duvet almost covering her own head as if she wanted to hide herself from herself. But like always, like every single night, when she used to close her eyes to try to sleep, it was when she clearest could see: Ian always came to her mind almost instantly the second she closed her eyes.

She could not help but still miss him a lot still, especially now that their baby was about to born, and it was too painful since she was still in love with him, or at least, she thought that she was. She was in a point that the guilt had mixed with love and with a lot of other feelings. But she missed him, she was missing the touch of his hands, she was missing his rough skin, she was missing his kisses, and everything about him, especially the way he always showed how much he loved her.

She missed the strong presence that he made in her life. He had been the first one that showed to her that she was a woman that had to be protected and loved and cared for. Never in her life she thought that she would like those things, but it was only because she did not know this other side of her that he had so miraculously awake, arousing another part of her. She wished that she had not liked this other part of her because she would not be having such difficult time to get totally get rid of Lauren Reynolds to become what she really was: Emily Prentiss, the badass.

But when you miss someone so badly and this become a big pain in the heart and an elephant stuck in the throat and this feeling is just too big and painful that just cannot fit in the heart anymore, so, it just drips through the eyes. She was again, like every night, wetting the pillow.

She knew that, somehow, she would have to make an extra effort to forget about him, and about those months, and about everything that she had lived with him.

Hugging her own belly, she said to herself:

"Come on, Emily… you are this tough cookie of a badass agent you always have been… It's time to collect and gather yourself and shed no more tears… Just think about your baby and the happy things you will live with her..."

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**Few days later:**

"I am sorry, Britney… this never happened to me before…"

"Oh, Derek, I don't know even what to say to you… is there someone new in your life?"

He was sitting on her bed, looking down, ashamed and extremely disappointed with himself as this was the last thing a big alpha male like him was expecting for, while she was getting dressed in her robe.

"No, there is not anybody new in my life…" he sadly pointed.

"That would be the only reason for the macho, manful, muscular Derek Morgan to fail with a woman… yeah… especially with a woman like me…"

"I don't know the reason… this never happened to me before, I swear… I am really sorry…"

"Well… it looks like you have nothing else to do here…this situation is really embarrassing…"

Derek then got fully dressed and tried to give her a hug. She stopped him.

"So… it looks like I am only a boy toy for you? Like, you only want my presence if..." He said.

She cut him off and said:

"WHAT? You must be joking, right? You never respected any woman… you are the one that never, EVER, wanted any kind of commitment … you are the one that during all your life had treated women as object only to please yourself and now this?"

Derek was hearing all that the woman was saying and he was mentally trying to think about a defense for himself and he wanted desperately to have something different to say but nothing, sadly he got the cruel finding that he was really the wrong one and that he had never treated a woman the way they deserve to be treated.

"I'm really sorry, again… I guess I am going then…"

She pulled him for a hug now and after a long time hugging, she said:

"Derek… I hope one day you find someone that make you change your ways… because this whole kind of life is starting to really mess up with you…"

"He broke the hug and kissed her forehead…"

Not more than five minutes later, he was driving his SUV back to his home. He could not avoid thinking about the last happenings.

Listening to the song on the radio while he was driving made him wonder if: was not he trying to get rid of the loneliness by being with so many different women during all his life? Was not he trying to avoid facing that loneliness, being alone for awhile, in order to get ready for a real love, after all we are supposed to be lonely to get in touch with our real person and soul to figure out who we really are to find out ourselves complete to be able to really love someone and dedicate ourselves only to that person?

The song was saying:

"_I sit and wait… Does an angel contemplate my fate?_

_And do they know…The places where we go… When we're gray and old?_

…_'Cause I've been told… That salvation lets their wings unfold_

_So when I'm lying in my bed… Thoughts running through my head_

_And I feel the love is dead… I'm loving angels instead…"_

Somehow that song touched him.

At the exactly same time:

Emily was having really hard time to sleep for the last few days. Not only because her 'almost nine months pregnant' belly that Ian Doyle had given to her, that was the minor of the 'problems', but because the big time was coming, the moment that she would meet her baby and she would have to do it all alone.

She was an independent woman since long time ago, everything was ready: the baby bag, the cell phone was always with her and she would only have to call 911 and ask for an ambulance and they would do their best for her and she knew that after that within minutes she would be with her baby girl in her arms.

But, was she ready to hold her baby and enter her home alone with her? Was she ready to raise this precious gift by herself as she had no job anymore and she had no idea where she would work? Was she ready to face her child and explain why she did not have a father or where was he now, and everything that had happened when she would start to understand things and started to ask things? Emily always did everything all alone for herself but now, was she ready for to really face all her fears?

She knew that by accepting that offer by Interpol to live another person, another life that was not her had been nothing more than an escape of her own life and loneliness, ah, the same loneliness that someone not too far from there was feeling.

She knew that she could not escape from who she was anymore. She had to be herself for real with all her feelings and fears and everything that made her so human and that she had tried to avoid so intensely during all her life as she just never wanted to have to deal with feelings, she had now to make things true for her baby.

She went downstairs and she approached her huge window of the living room as she could see the lights of the whole city as it was very late night already. She placed her hand on the big belly and took a deep breath. Yeah: she was alone, but she would not be for too long. The thinking of that she would be holding her baby in one or two weeks brought a smile to her face but also tears to her eyes as she knew that she was the one that had to be a strong, not the baby.

She was only thinking about her baby, and someone not too far from there was still listening to the same song that seemed to fit perfectly for her as well:

"…_And through it all she offers me protection… A lot of love and affection Whether I'm right or wrong… And down the waterfall… Wherever it may take me… I know that life won't break me…When I come to call she won't forsake me…I'm loving angels instead…"_

It was a beautiful night with a full moon and a starry sky. Derek parked the car in a high place of the city. He got out of the car to get some air as he was feeling suffocated. Suffocated by the his own thinking as he was remembering every heart that he had broke, and they were not a few, and also because he knew that in order to be a better person, to make his family so proud of him, he would have to be alone and get ready for a real love. The question was: where was she? Where was 'the one' that God had carefully prepared to him? He looked at stars and he just felt, he felt that she was somewhere.

He could still hear the end of the song that said:

"When I'm feeling weak… And my pain walks down a one way street

I look above… And I know I'll always be blessed with love

And as the feeling grows… She breathes flesh to my bones

And when love is dead… I'm loving angels instead…"

Looking at the most shining star on the sky, he said:

"I will find you… my tough little cookie…" He said it out loud to himself and smiled that sweet charming smile.

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**Well, Demily moments is about to come. Please, leave a comment.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing**

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"Oh my God! Hurry up… please…. Hurry up… ouch…"

Emily hung up the phone after having called 911 for ambulance. She could not even breathe anymore. The contractions were getting intense along with the pain and the periods between them increasingly shorter.

No more than half an hour later she was entering the hospital room in a stretcher. Quickly, the hospital team prepared everything for the delivery because they were running out of time.

Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead, both because of the big effort she was making and the pain she was feeling, blending with the tears that were streaming down her face. Excitement, guilt, love, longing, she was having mixed feelings that she did not know how to explain.

But she was happy, and that was the most sublime feeling she could feel now, she was finally meeting her little princess.

Of course she wished that he was there with her, but she had already made her mind: she would have to do it all alone like a big strong girl. She wanted to hold his hand now but he wasn't there, he would never be there, he would not even know about this baby. She held as strongly as she could on the iron bar of the bed as she gave a last big push before hearing her baby crying for the first time.

She put her head back on the pillow and relaxed her body, she felt as if she had been ripped apart inside. A few seconds later, a nurse put her baby in her arms and for a millisecond it seemed as if the baby was ten times bigger than her. That baby girl meant such a big responsibility. But, from the second she looked at her baby crying in her arms, she felt a strong sweet bond forming between her and that small human being. She was crying happy tears looking at her baby when she heard someone speak.

"She is perfect…"

Still shedding tears and looking at her baby, she said:

"She sure is…"

"… Hey…Anna… I promise that I will love you so much… my heart will burst out of my chest for you... I promise I will do my very best to be the mother you need…"

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It was around 8 at night, Emily was finishing breastfeeding Anna when she heard the doorbell ringing. As she knew who it was, she only put Anna in her bassinet and went to open the door.

"Emily, I am so sorry I couldn't come before but I had to travel to Russia again as you know and I had to spend much more time there than I expected and…"

"It's okay, mother, I totally understand…"

"Wow… you look great already, I am glad that you got my type of body…"

"Am I supposed to thank you for this?"

"Oh, Emily… you and your dark humor…"

"Well… maybe I pulled this from you too."

Ambassador ignored her and showed her small box.

"This is for the newest Prentiss' family member…"

Emily smiled.

"Thank you, Mother, and, I am sorry to inform you that you are indeed a grandmother now. You have a granddaughter so come on and met her."

Both women then sat on the couch. While Emily was opening the gift that her mother had brought Anna, the Ambassador was holding Anna for the first time.

"Oh, Em… she is so beautiful, but those beautiful blue eyes… those aren't typical in our family."

Emily said nothing about this but rather chose to comment on the gift.

"Oh, Mother… this must have cost you a fortune ! Thank you."

"My granddaughter deserves the best"

They were very small earrings, like pearl, made of gold with a small diamond on it. Still looking at Anna, Elizabeth said:

"Em… when you were first put in my arms it was the happiest moment of my life. I know that I never gave you the love that you needed. I only gave you material things, all the best in the world… But I know you needed more than that in the emotions and love department. I know you will provide more for your baby girl in this area than I did for you. I know when this beautiful baby girl was put in your arms, it was the most precious moment of your life like it was for me with you, and I am sure you will be a wonderful mother."

Somehow Emily was touched and comforted by those words. She was still holding the earrings in her hands.

"Thank you, mother."

The Ambassador looked at her daughter.

"You are very welcome, darling."

"I've never heard you talk to me like this before… I know you always loved me, mother, you sacrificed all your time to give me the best that money could buy… I always loved you too… even though I never told you much…"

"Oh, Em… you know tears can cause wrinkles on the face and it is also a demonstration of weakness… so don't make me cry…"

"Yeah, mother… but they are also a way of clean the soul… and plus… happy tears are good…"

"That is true, Em, but how does it look if people saw me crying as it is a very an 'unambassador' like thing to do…"

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Emily was sitting on the sofa with her laptop applying for a new job when she heard the doorbell ringing.

Little Anna was sitting in her playpen with some baby toys around her. She was biting a toy because her teeth was starting to grow and were bothering her a bit. The girl was now six months old.

Emily was expecting it to be someone from Interpol bringing some papers for her to sign but was bitterly surprised when she opened the door. She did not like what she saw: Clyde.

"I didn't know you had been demoted to be Interpol's 'office-boy'."

He let out a bitter smile and said:

"Do you know that your bad humor makes you even sexier?"

"It wasn't a joke… I was really asking, Clyde"

"Oh… and your answers are always on the tip of your tongue as well…"

She rolled her eyes and opened the door wide for him to enter.

Then, she locked the door and they walked to the living room. He had some files in his hands.

"Just so you know… I asked Sean if I could come and bring the papers of your resignation myself. I just came from another undercover mission that took me almost a whole year, and I was in need of some time off and of course I wanted to visit a friend and…"

He stopped talking when they reached the living room and he had the shock of his life seeing little Anna in her playpen. He looked at Emily with his eyes were full of questioning.

Just looking at him, she could see that he didn't know that she had left the undercover mission pregnant with Ian's baby. She sat on the sofa, next to the playpen.

"So… Sean didn't tell you ?"

Clyde was so in shock that he took a few seconds to believe what he was seeing.

"Emily… wow… I don't know what to say…"

"If you are going to judge me or something, just don't say anything… Yes this is my daughter, Anna. I don't want anyone to know about her, much less whom her father is so please Clyde, when you go back to Interpol be discrete about this."

"Oh… sure, Em"

Clyde approached the playpen.

"Hey you little one. Look how pretty you are."

The little girl was looking at him with no smile on her face. She wasn't used to see anyone except her mother and the Ambassador.

"Can I hold her?"

Emily was hesitant.

"She is not used to strangers… I mean, she might cry but you can try."

Clyde took the baby from the playpen and Anna stayed quiet only looking at him.

"Well… By that serious face I can see that you are a tough cookie just like your Mom. Huh… aren't you going to give me a smile? Wow… Emily… she is… she is a carbon copy of him… look at her blue eyes… the expression on her face…"

"Clyde, please, she is my daughter and only mine… Please don't talk about him…"

" It still bothers you that much to talk about him over a year after his arrestation? Are you still in love with him?"

"No, Clyde, this is NOT about him, this is about her. No one can know that she is his daughter. I don't want my daughter to have any connection to him. He does not know about her and I want to keep things like that to protect her… To put an end to this conversation, yes I loved him… I totally fell in love with him but it's in the past! And I am trying to build us a new life as far away from this as possible. So please, let's deal with what really interest you here?"

He joined her on the sofa Clyde still had Anna in his arms.

"Okay…. I brought the papers for you to sign and after this Interpol will deposit the money in your account for the final settlement and you'll finally be free from us…"

She read the papers before signing them.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I am looking for a new job but I've just started recently. I want and I need a normal life now."

He raised his eyebrows at that.

"You? …a normal life?" He was being sarcastic.

"Yes, Clyde, for the both of us."

"Good luck with that. It's in your blood Emily, you need the adrenaline, I know you… You like taking risks…"

"I used to, Clyde, but not anymore, because of this precious thing here. I'm the only person she has, she needs me. She thinks that the whole world is full of love and I want nothing more than to make it a reality."

"But you know the world isn't like that Emily… it's actually the opposite…"

"But I will try to do it until I succeed."

Emily was about to sign the papers and Clyde was playing with the baby in his arms when suddenly Anna spat up some milk, vomiting on all over Clyde's clothes.

Emily looked at the scene and she wanted to laugh.

"Well… thank you very much for the shower young lady, I didn't have one today, and I really needed one. You must have taken after your mother not liking me…"

"I'm so sorry, Clyde. Let me get you a towel to clean your jacket. Please send me your dry cleaning bill, I know the Hotels charge a fortune to wash this things. I know this might ruin your favorite jacket. You've been wearing this one almost all the time since I've known you…I'm going to go and clean her up. I'll be quick. You can use that washroom there, there are clean towels you can use."

"Thank you."

After about half an hour, Clyde was sitting on the sofa waiting for Emily. She was coming downstairs.

"Oh, I am so sorry to keep you waiting, Clyde. I had to give her a bath and change her etc… did you clean yourself up?"

"Well… I tried, I think I still have some time before I start to smell like sour milk."

"Again, I'm sorry, Clyde."

"No problem…"

Emily put Anna back on her playpen.

"Let's put this sweet cute little Princess here and not take the risk to give another shower to our guest, right, baby?!"

She took the papers and gave a last read and finally signed them, handing the file to Clyde again.

They both kept quiet after this. Noticing the lack of words and the awkward situation that had formed there, Clyde said:

"Well, I think I'm going to go then…"

She got up from the couch before him indicating that she really wanted him to go. She put both of her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, and bit her lips. He got up from the couch and Emily followed him to the front door. Before she could open it, he said:

"Emily… this can be your end with Interpol but not between us, I mean, I was never good with words but I really care about you… I want you to know that you can really count on me… especially now…"

She cut him off.

"Clyde, look…"

Bur he kept speaking.

"It's true, Emily… I could seem impartial during the time that you were undercover but it was because we have to stay focused at all time. But I knew that you were in pain and I know that it must have been a sacrifice for you… I know that you had to sacrifice yourself and your feelings to accomplish this mission and I admire you for that even more. I know you don't want to talk about this but it is not about him, it's about us… I really care about you… and I'll always be there for you, if you need anything."

Of course Emily had already put most of who she was before Lauren Reynolds back together: the badass Emily Prentiss. But hearing those words from Clyde brought up recent bad memories to her mind. A big lump formed on her throat.

"Thank you…."

He touched her arm and said:

"I really mean it…"

"I know…"

He pulled her into a tight hug, the type of hug that she had needed in a long time. He kissed her on the forehead and left, and she closed the door. She closed the door on her past.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Exactly two weeks later:**

Emily was giving some soup to Anna. She was introducing her to solid food, fruits and juices, so far she had only breastfeed her and soon Emily intended to go back to work. The phone started to ring.

"Mary, please, can you answer for me?"

Mary was the new nanny. She did not need any recommendations since she was daughter of Emily's nanny since she was born until she was like fifteen. She would stay and take care of Anna when Emily would find a new job.

"Emily… it's for you"

"Oh… well… can you finish here with her ?"

After a little while Emily hung up the phone.

"Wow… they're offering me a job at the FBI… BAU… and I don't even know how my resume ended up there…"

"Well… you can go check it out and ask them about it."

"Yes… I'll do just that."

Emily approached them and looked at little Anna.

"I'll miss her so much…"

"She will be fine, Emily, you can trust me."

"I trust you… but I'm still going to miss her."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Few days later:**

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes."

"I'm agent Emily Prentiss"

"How do you do? Oh…you're Ambassador Prentiss' daughter. I did security clearances for your mother's staff. It was one of my first commands. I believe you were off to Brown at the time ?"

"Actually it was Yale."

"Ah."

"I've been working as agent for almost 10 years now."

"Don't tell me that…Has it been that long?"

"Apparently, Sir."

"Your parents well?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're great."

"Excellent…"

*Awkward moment of silence*

"What can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, I guess I was hoping you could tell me where to put my stuff…"

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm supposed to start here today at the BAU…"

"There's been a mistake."

"I don't think so, Sir."

"There's definitely been a mistake…"

A blond woman named Jennifer entered the office.

"Excuse me… We're getting started."

"Thank you. I'll be right there." And the blond left.

"I didn't approve this transfer, agent Prentiss. I'm sorry for the confusion, but you've been misinformed. Excuse me. It was very good to see you again."

He passed by her and left his office where she was still holding a box with her belongings. She heard him speak to another man.

"Did you approve any transfer?"

"No… I would've discussed it"

"That's what I thought. She's got the paper work to join the team."

"You want me to make a call?"

"No… I'll make it."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**A few days later:**

The same man, Aaron Hotchner, leader of the Behavior Analyses Unit, was entering his office and saw her.

"Please, tell me you haven't been here for the last 4 days?"

"I heard you were flying back tonight."

"Heard? How could you have heard a thing like that?"

"This was dropped off today."

"I appreciate your interest, agent, but profiling is a specialty. We can't just let anyone who wants to give it a whirl…"

"The I-80 killer? Co-eds in Indiana?"

"Yes, I read it on the plane…"

"They aren't blitz attacks… This guy's organized…He's a white male, early 30s, and a smooth talker, because even after 11 victims, he can still convince educated women who know there's a predator out there to get into his car."

"How would you advise the police?"

"I would stake out the ranch house, a night club in Gary. They have a very popular ladies night on Thursdays. If you look closely, you'll see that 8 out of the 11 victims went missing on a Friday morning. So something gets this creep's motor running on Thursdays… This isn't a whirl, agent Hotchner. I don't know how the paperwork got screwed up or maybe you believe my parents pulled some strings, which they didn't, by the way. I belong in this unit. And all I'm asking you for is the chance to show you that.

"I still need to look into this… I'm not promising anything."

"Understood."

"We brief new cases every morning at 10:00 can see facilities management about a desk."

"You won't be sorry."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was her first day at her new job as a special agent in the Behavior Analysis Unit, for the FBI. She was a little nervous to start this new job with a new team that she didn't know anything about. She was also totally heartbroken over little Anna. She totally trusted Mary to take care of her little baby but she could not help but miss her a lot. After all, during the first eight months of Anna's life Emily was always there with her, and now, she wouldn't be anymore. But she also knew that it was totally unrealistic to think that she could stay with Anna forever, she knew that it wasn't healthy, more so for the baby.

She followed Aaron Hotchner, serious as always, into the meeting room where she was going to meet the team for the first time.

As soon as she stepped into the meeting room, she couldn't help but feel like one and only one person in it mattered, like she physically couldn't pull away, even before she could look at him. She was afraid to even to look at him. He was already sitting at the round table when she entered. He couldn't avoid looking at her and followed her with his eyes. It was as if she had filled all the empty space in the room.

He felt like he had been looking for her his whole life, as if he had just found that 'thing' that he'd been so strongly fighting against, afraid to be broken. He was looking at her, holding his breath, for the first time in his life and he was scared to death. He had never felt this alive before. He could see a secret world inside of her, just waiting to come to life. He could see scars in her soul, yet he was feeling home.

"Everybody meet agent Prentiss."

"The other day, I've been filling her in on protocol." The blonde woman, JJ, said.

An african-american man got up just a little and reached his hand to her, introducing himself.

"Derek Morgan."

"Emily... Prentiss."

Only now when her hand touched his, she looked at him for the first time.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Thanks to Lena who is helping me a lot with excellent English tips and the correction. Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Reid and JJ entered the BAU in the morning ready to start a new week of work. Derek was already there at his desk.

"Someone has been strangely more involved in his work for the past month, I can't even believe this."

"Yeah, Spencer… He used to always be the last one here and now he is always the first one."

"Hotch is already here." Morgan said.

"Hotch doesn't count."

"Hmm and I can also smell a different perfume, nice and strong, striking scent. And look at this fancy shirt."

"And have you notice how he is more of a gentleman than usual?"

"Yes, and how during the last five cases, he didn't flirt with any of the female police officer or any women working with us."

"It's because now he doesn't look at other women anymore. He only has eyes for her."

"Or he thinks all the other women are less interesting now."

"Okay, okay, pretty boy, as far as I know you understand pretty much nothing about the love department, and you, JJ, aren't even a profiler, so all your theories are wrong."

"I may not be a profiler but I'm a woman. Women know these things."

"And I may never have been in love but I have real data: statistics show that when a man is in love, even though he does everything to try to hide it, it shows in his behavior, he starts to wear better clothes, he does everything he can to stay close to the person and to find out as much as possible about the person's life and…"

"Okay, enough! I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I'm trying to focus on this file. I'm trying to work here, if you two didn't notice."

JJ went to her office and Reid to his desk.

_**Five minutes later:**_

"Good morning."

Emily passed by them without looking, carrying her go bag and her purse, and went to her desk. She was still trying to fit in on the team, but still keeping a safe distance from them. She was there to work and she wasn't willing for anything else to happen beyond work. She had already been there for four months.

She put her stuff on her desk and went to the small kitchen to make some coffee.

The coffee machine was filling her cup when he joined her pretending that he also wanted a cup.

"Did you have a good weekend, Emily?"

"Yeah."

Of course he was expecting more than this, and of course she noticed.

"It… It just feels weird for me to talk about my personal life here, you know? I don't really know you guys all that well yet."

"No problem. I totally get that."

Morgan was disappointed. He was leaving the small kitchen when he heard her saying something.

"You have to understand, I'm a nerd. Like, seriously. I spent the whole weekend only reading."

Well, that wasn't a lie at all. It was part of the truth."

"What are you reading now?"

"Kilgore Trout..."

"Kurt Vonnegut?"

"Do you know Kilgore Trout?"

"I read Slaughterhouse-Five when I was 12 and it blew my mind."

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't get enough. So I just kept going and I read 'em all."

"Yeah, yeah, me, too."

"What's your favorite?"

"Oh, Mother Night."

"The one about the American spy... Who pretends to be a Nazi."

"You are who you pretend to be."

"So be careful who you pretend to be."

"Oh, my God, I can't believe you're a Vonnegut fan. You just made my day."

"Anytime."

JJ came to call them to the meeting room but she only found Reid at his desk. She approached him:

"Wasn't he too focused in his 'work'?"

"Looks like someone here is the only thing he can focus on."

Emily was now leaving the kitchen when she heard something.

"Look, Emily, the coffee here isn't as good as a place I know where they make the best in the world. How about I take you there on coffee break or anytime you are free or after work? Their food is just 'out of this world too'."

She was smart and she knew very well what was hidden behind this innocent invitation.

"Derek, after work and when I am off I don't have time for a social life. I have things that keep me really tied up. I would love to go with you but I can't. It's not that I don't want to. It is that I can't. I'm so sorry."

She could see his disappointment:

"But during work for coffee break maybe we can."

He smiled at her. He took this as not total rejection but as a little hope. He couldn't quite understand what was happening to him. He had never been in love with someone before. He had never experienced true love, so he was kind of lost. He had looked at her and had become immersed in her the second he saw her. Even before they even talked, their bodies had started communicating. It was a soul connection. It was like perfect chemistry. But Derek Morgan was Derek Morgan: he would never admit that he was in love before he could be totally sure that it was reciprocated. Until then, he would keep his feelings bottled up inside.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**A few days later:**

The team was on the plane about to flight back to DC after a case. Reid was playing cards with Morgan when Emily threw a book on the small table between them, momentarily diverting their attention away from the game.

"Oops…"

He took the book in his hands.

"Wait a minute... No you didn't! Where did you find this?"

"In the airport, can you believe it? I haven't read this in fif…in like twelve years."

"Okay, that's funny, chapter three is when it starts to get good."

"Okay, I'll let you know when I get there."

"Alright, you do that."

She went to sit at the back of the plane. Of course all the smiles and sweet-talk on both sides didn't go unnoticed by Reid, who, meanwhile, chose not to say anything, but whose teasing smile was speaking loudly.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

He still had the smile on his face.

"You think you're the only person around here who reads books?"

"No, but you never want to talk to me about books…"

Morgan took a look at Emily and then back to Reid.

"You think I'm sending her the wrong kind of message?"

Reid turned to look at Emily to make sure that she wouldn't hear. Then he whispered to Morgan.

"I have noticed you guys sitting next to each other in the round table room, and I've seen you hanging out at her desk, and I just realized…if I'm noticing this stuff, it must be pretty darn obvious, right?"

"Okay, well… You know, normally kid, I'd say you got yourself a really good point right there, but uh… trust me. Emily Prentiss is not the kind of girl who's interested in Derek Morgan."

"What?! What kind of girl isn't interested in Derek Morgan?!"

"The kind of girl that's way too smart to think she can change my ways. Everybody knows I'm not ready to get serious."

"Maybe you're a lot more ready than you realize."

"Dr. Reid, are you really trying to school me on females right now?"

Reid turned again to make sure Emily wasn't hearing.

"My mother says girls can sense when men are changing. When you're ready, certain types of girls, the right kind of girls, will find you. It's only when you're ready though."

"You think I'm not on top of my game all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, only you can say with certainty, but I have real data. Believe me: it's easy to recognize the signs. You get easily distracted, you start eating and sleeping less and spend hours and hours thinking about her, it's similar to a compulsive behavior, like drug addict people. That's right: the neurotransmitter of passion is called dopamine. It's also involved in cases of addiction. And it stirs within the part of the brain controlling the reward system, the mechanism that makes us find pleasurable things such as food, sex or love. Dopamine has an incredibly strong influence on us. From now on your happiness depends on someone else. If she calls you or sends e-mails, even if it is about work, for example, you'll feel like you're in paradise. When she's away you'll live in slow agony. If you're feeling all this, my friend, you can celebrate. Congrats! You're in love!"

"Whether you're right or not, Reid, she doesn't seem to be available or opened to anything…"

"That is another issue…I'm sure you'll know how to do it…"

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Emily Prentiss was slowly learning to put her feelings and priorities above other things. She was a little torn this morning as she had yet to decide what to do. The alarm beeped at 6 a.m. as usual. She sat on the bed thinking

Then, she took the phone to make a call. She knew he would be up already.

"Hotchner?"

"Hotch, good morning."

"Morning, Prentiss."

"I'm sorry to call you at home so early in the morning…"

He cut her off. "No problem, I was awake already, how can I help you?"

"I need to ask you if I can take this morning off. I have an important appointment."

"Okay, anything I can help with?"

"Just giving me half day is enough."

"You got it. If we have any cases out of town, JJ will call you."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Not a problem, bye."

"Bye."

She put on her satin robe, brushed her teeth and washed her face, and went to Anna's bedroom. The little girl was used to sleep in her own bedroom. She had inherited those strong tough independent genes from both her parents, especially from Emily, but of course the baby monitor was always on. Emily entered Anna's bedroom to see the little girl standing in her crib, playing with the ballerinas on it.

"Who is the most special, prettiest little girl in the world that's becoming older today?"

The little girl smiled at her mother, reaching out with her little arms for Emily to hold her. Emily took her from the crib, kissing her.

"How many fingers will you be today, Anna?"

Anna curiously looked at her.

"You're one today!" She said, showing the baby one finger.

"That's right, my little baby is turning one. Mommy will stay with you a little more today. We'll make a cake together. Do you want to help Mommy make a cake?"

At that, the little girl started having her own conversation, babbling happily to her mother.

Emily had Anna in her arms and had opened the drawer to choose clean clothes for the girl.

"Oh, my baby girl is becoming a big girl now, huh, sweetie. I can't believe that you can walk and that you're starting to talk, my Princess."

Anna, loving the attention squealed.

Emily was leaning against the tub giving Anna a bath. The little girl was delighted this morning because usually it was the nanny who took care of her morning routine. Anna was splashing water like crazy, wetting Emily, also kicking the water out of the tub.

"If this was not a special occasion and your birthday, I would be very upset with you, young lady, for wetting me, but today I will let it go."

She was finishing dressing Anna when they heard the doorbell ringing.

Anna squealed again as Emily held her to go downstairs.

"It must be Mary. Do you like Mary?"

She only got some more incomprehensible sounds while she went to open the door.

"Good morning, Emily. Oh, am I late?"

"Morning, Mary, no, no, don't worry… I got her ready first because it's her special day today. I'm going to stay home this morning." Emily was still in her robe.

"I brought this for her."

"Oh, that's so sweet of you, Mary. You didn't have to, but thank you."

"Give Mary a hug sweetie, she brought you a gift."

She held the girl towards her nanny and was happy to see her daughter give her a thank you cuddle.

"Mary, can you give her a bottle with I take a shower, please, then, we're going to make a cake!"

"Sure."

The nanny took Anna in her arms and went to the kitchen.

**About one hour later:**

"Isn't this the prettiest cake for the prettiest girl?!"

Emily had made a cake by herself. Anna was there watching carefully and laughing. Mary was also there. Emily wasn't the cooking type but she was trying to improve herself in a lot of departments for her daughter, and cooking was one of them.

"So, let's sing: _Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Dear Anna. Happy birthday to you_."

Emily took Anna from the baby high chair, kissed her, and hugged her.

"Happy birthday, my sweetie. One year ago, you made me the happiest person in the world and each day I have a reason to live because of you. You are the best thing that happened in my life and I love you so much."

Of course Anna had no understanding of those words, but she could feel how much she was loved, she was happy so she smiled.

"Mary, please, take a photo of us before we cut the cake."

"Sure."

Mary took a photo and Emily took a lot of other photos including the mess Anna was making with the cake, eating it with her little hands. Her face was all dirty with whipped cream, she looked adorable.

**At the same time, at the BAU:**

JJ had already presented the case and they had discussed it a lot. Someone was living a real internal battle to keep his curiosity to himself and not ask about Emily and why she wasn't there that morning. He was having hard time staying focused. They would have to travel to Indiana.

"Call Prentiss, see if she can go, please, wheels up in thirty."

He was mentally praying for JJ do it there in front of them, but she went to her office leaving him still restless, alone with Reid and Rossi.

"Statistics show that when someone is missing someone so badly like Derek is, if 'this person' shows up now, his spirit would be lifted a million times more than it is now."

"I am sure Derek wants Emily to be here but only because he knows how very valuable she is to the team and he knows about her skills. That's the only reason why Derek would want her here now to join us on this case, right, Mr. 'I will never fall in love, I will never get married'?"

"Okay, you two just get it off your chests before you both die from holding it in. I am happy to be source of your entertainment. Just know that payback is a bitch, especially you, Boy Genius."

**At Emily's place:**

Emily was crying, still holding Anna in her arms.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, I mean, I can't believe she is one already, time flies. These are happy tears."

Her cell phone started ringing.

"Prentiss?"

"Emily, it's Jennifer, Hotch asked me to call you to check if you can come with us. Indiana, involving children."

"Oh, okay, sure. I can go. Just give me thirty minutes."

"It's all we have."

She hung up.

"I have to go."

"No problem, Emily, I'm here to work which isn't quite a hard work. It's always a pleasure staying with Anna."

"Oh, Mary, I forgot to tell you, I'm considering putting her in daycare for half days, at least, but we'll talk about it when I get back from this case. I have to get ready now."

She was driving to the BAU after having left Anna at home on her birthday. Her heart was breaking a little but she knew it was important and she would have other days to stay with her daughter. During the time she was at home, all the morning, she had given all her attention to her daughter, but now, while she was driving, she couldn't help but think about him, about the way he made her feel loved, and desired, the way he used to touch her, and kiss her, and how he used make her feel alive. And what she was avoiding the most: about how things would have been if he just had chosen to be with her instead of the weapons and the billions dollars. Anna would have a father. She would have him. She would still feel loved.

"Fuck!"

She cursed out loud realizing that she was shedding a tear. It was not only a tear. It was a proof that the door of her past wasn't totally closed.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

All the team was in the jet. They were reviewing the case, only waiting for Emily who had just arrived.

"I'm sorry, I had some personal problems."

Derek unintentionally dropped a paper in the small corridor where she was walking. As he was sitting, he only reached his hand to pick it up, but she did the same thing. They both reached for the paper at same time. Their hands touched and they stared deeply into each other eyes. It wasn't for more than two seconds but it meant more than months of a talking.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**North Korea:**

He was in Kwan-Li-so, in the camp, being forced to do hard labor, having inadequate food, getting lot of beatings, totally inadequate medical care and unhygienic living conditions.

But he was Ian Doyle and it would take a lot to bring him down. He was trying to get help from some connections as he had a lot of money, but nothing useful so far.

Among some of the worst people on the planet, he was only one more. He was outside, in the opened field of the prison, smoking when a guard handed a letter to him. They were allowed to receive letters, but everything used to pass by the rigorous screening of security, first.

"This is for you. Don't think that you won't be interrogated about it."

He dropped the cigarette on the floor, almost ignoring the presence of the guard there, always in his typical petulant way, and he took the letter in his hands. It had only a note inside.

"_Congratulations! Your lovely daughter turns one today."_

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**Guys, for this chapter I did a little research online about Kwan-Li-so and about how love acts in the brain (it was Reid explanation).**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi people! I had a huge test this afternoon for my heart! Wow! Well, I survived!**

**My Beta surprised me today returning the chapter corrected by her. So, I'm publishing it now.**

**I own nothing**

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**A few weeks later:**

Both Emily and Derek were coming out of the elevator on the BAU floor. She was carrying her go-bag and a coffee and he the suit he would wear for work since he was still in his workout clothes.

"Seriously?" Emily asked not believing him.

"Would I lie to an FBI agent?"

"A thousand sit-ups?"

She still couldn't believe it.

"Sometimes twice a day." He bragged.

They stopped walking towards the office. She wanted to look at him and really try to understand.

"Why?"

Derek smiled and pointed to his chest, touching it.

"It's all about a strong sexy core you know what I'm saying.'"

"Oh, God, I really hope that's not what it's all about!"

Derek laughed and opened his arms almost offering himself to her.

"Come on, Princess, take a feel..."

Emily indeed took a look at his chest, but she quickly headed into the office.

"Oh, no thanks."

"Oh, come on, don't be scared. I know you want to..."

"Mmmm, no thanks!"

By the way she had talked and the way she just wanted to get away from him now, he could notice that she wasn't totally indifferent to him. She had some feelings for him. He had his chances with her.

"Come on now you won't break a nail I promise."

They both laughed but she was already in the bullpen.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Two days later.**

They were working on a case away from Quantico. It was around eleven p.m., the case was far from over. The team had just delivered the profile. Emily chose a safe place in the police station where no one could hear her and she called home.

"Mary? It's me."

"Hi, Emily."

"How is she? Does she still has a fever?"

"Mm, she's sleeping now. I gave her some Tylenol. The fever has been down for a while."

"Mary, I have no idea how long we'll stay here, but if anything is wrong, please call me."

"Don't worry, Emily, she's just teething, the doctor said it. She'll be okay. But if anything goes wrong, I'll call you."

"Okay, thank you, Mary."

She joined the team back.

"Prentiss, Morgan, go talk to the victim again."

Derek was driving and they were talking about the case and what they would ask the victim. Despite doing her best to help on the case Emily couldn't help but think about her little baby. But she was in the middle of some of the best profilers of the world. She knew they knew something was bothering her. She was mentally wishing that no one would ask anything.

"Did something happen?"

She was frightened by the sudden question. She looked at him for a second, but quickly looked out of the window again.

"What do you mean?"

"I can see by your facial expression that something is definitely wrong. What is it? I want to help you if I can."

"It's nothing that you can help."

Realizing that she had been a little harsh, she tried to redeem herself.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. No problem".

But Derek was determined with a strong personality, not afraid to fight for what he wanted. He knew how to smile when it was needed, and knew how to be serious when the moment demanded it. And one thing that simply didn't exist in his vocabulary was giving up something he wanted.

"Emily, I know we don't know each other that well but I truly care about you. I can't fully explain it but I felt an immediate connection with you. I never felt like this before. We're new partners at work but I can tell we'll be more than working partners. We'll have a very beautiful friendship too. You can tell me what's bothering you and I won't tell a soul, you can truly trust me and I really want to help you."

"Derek, I, when we first met and first shook hands I felt an immediate connection with you too. I know that I can trust you and maybe I'll tell you everything someday but right now there's nothing you can do for me or I'd tell you, but thank you very much for your support and friendship."

"You're very welcome, Emily."

"I'm a very closed person. I have trouble letting people in. I have trust issues. For your safety, you should keep a certain distance."

"Let's just say that both of us will be a challenge for each other. But let's have a lot of fun along the way with this challenge. I know we'll work well together because we're doing so well working together so far. You fit in perfectly with this team, making this a perfect family here at work."

He smirked at her. She smiled back.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Two days later.**

It was a Friday night and the whole team was entering the BAU after being gone the entire week working on their last case. They were all exhausted, but glad that the case ended well with no more victims and the bad guy out for the rest of his life. Penelope was welcoming them with a cupcake with a small candle in it, and her usual sweet smile on the face. The whole team, except Emily, instantly remembered why.

"Oh, it's tomorrow, right?"

He was putting his go-bag on his chair.

"Yes, JJ, it's tomorrow, and I'm traveling to see my Mom and sisters, It's been five or six months since I saw them, I can't even remember."

Emily also put her go-bag on her chair and looked at him.

"Is it your birthday?"

"Yes, it's tomorrow."

"How cool! On the same month as my…"

She realized she was about to say more than she intended, but corrected it on time.

"…as a person I know."

"We could do something now! We could go to a bar. Is everybody in?"

"Statistics show that when a woman ask something it's hard for a man to say no, especially if it is a for a Friday night event. Also…"

JJ cut him off. "Are you in or not, Spencer?"

"Yes. I'm in."

"Good, me too, Hotch?"

Hotch was climbing the stairs towards his office.

"I just need to call Haley and check in on Jack. His teeth are growing and he was having some fever, but yes, I'm in even if I only stay for half an hour."

"Rossi?"

"Well, only if we can have my Scotch served, my treat, of course."

"And you, Pen ? Do I even have to ask ?"

"Oh, JJ, as if we were talking about an ordinary event. We all have to be in! It's my Chocolate Thunder birthday! What about you, Raven Haired beauty? I hope you can make come. It'd be your first night out with us and you'd get to see how we party around here. Our Derek is getting older tomorrow! It's a real special day! We hope it's the day he starts to settle down and grow up."

Everyone was looking at Emily now, except for Hotch who was in his office already.

She was puting some documents in her drawer and thinking. Then, she looked at them, at Derek.

"I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry, Derek. I can't go. I really need to go home."

Derek's disappointment could be seen on his face. The big smile he had had thinking of having Emily coming out with them outside of work had given place to a sad look in his eyes. Everybody noticed it.

"Why, Emily? This will be so much fun! …And not only because it's Derek's birthday. Our job is so hard. We always have a good time together to counterbalance the bad things we see. You never had a chance to experience this with us before and I promise you that you'll have a real good time."

"JJ, I, I'm really sorry. I really can't."

They gave up convincing her and scattered around. All of them had some paperwork to do before leaving so they all focused on it. Emily was the first to finish. She just wanted to go home to Anna.

She realized that Derek was in the hallway, going to the file room. She thought for a moment, and went after him.

Once there, she saw him leaning against a big cabinet, looking for something.

"Hey."

He glanced at her and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

"Derek, I'm so sorry. I really wanted to go. But I really can't."

"I totally understand, Emily." He didn't have a smile on his face.

She got closer to him.

"Can I… at least give you a hug?"

He stared at her.

"…For your birthday."

He wasn't expecting this. He stared at her again. As much as they didn't want it to, their physical connection was saying a lot more than they wanted to each other. But now, at this moment, they didn't break eye contact.

He closed the drawer between them, clearing the space for her to hug him. She took two steps and fell into his opened arms, hugging him.

Both knew it was a dangerous path. They both knew how much could be said and shared through a hug,

For her, Derek was like a bright light in her life, the peacemaker that could end her mental war, a chance to build a family. Someone that could hold her in her darkest moments, make her smile and make her find the fun in a simple walk through the park. She knew it. She knew since from the very first moment that he could be 'the one'.

For him, well, it was a territory totally new for him, but he also knew from day one. Remembering his mother's wisdom, saying he'd feel it in his heart when he found her, he'd recognize it instantly, he knew that she was 'the one'.

Derek's strong arms were holding her thin body. She could feel the warmth coming from his chest and his heart pounding fast. He could feel her cold hands on his backs.

No words were necessary now. Nothing would have had the strength to make their hearts understand each other better than this hug. For one minute only, she felt in the right place. She fit perfectly with him. His touch, his smell, everything. She could almost feel the blood running through her veins. She felt alive again.

Before it was too late, as if she still had a way of escaping from those feelings, she broke the hug. She could barely look at him. She knew he could 'read' her perfectly now. A little embarrassed, she said:

"So, Happy Birthday..."

He took her hands as if wanting to warm them with his and kissed them, still staring into her eyes.

"Thank you."

He followed her with his eyes until she walked out of the room. He stayed for a moment, reliving what had just happened while his heart calmed down.

**Hours later, in the bar.**

The team had been there for two hours already. But they had been working five days of in a row, so they were all completely exhausted.

They danced, drank, ate, and talk. Derek seemed really happy. She wasn't there, but, strangely, he could feel her presence. He could feel her presence in his life, in his heart.

"Derek, it's so good to see you having a great time here, even though I know you wished a certain someone were here. However, I can tell something happened. You have a certain glow in your eyes."

"Rossi, man, I'm happy because I'm surrounded by my very best friends, my second family so to speak. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"My Chocolate Thunder, this is a truly a remarkable life changing birthday for you. I notice something very different about you, a very totally new you. It looks like a certain bug has hit you and you know what I'm talking about. You always denied that this would happen to you."

"Yes, Pen, he just learned that some kind of things we have no control about them, and we have no choice, it just happens."

"C'mon, JJ, Pen, let's just enjoy our night."

"If they are right, it looks like I have to be informed."

"There is nothing to inform, Hotch. There is nothing going on."

"Yes, but when it happens, I want to be the first one to know. I'm talking as the chief of the Unit."

"Hotch, until you? There is nothing happening, man."

"Statistics say that when you deny something so badly it's because it tends to be truth."

"Oh, pretty boy, statistics? Not now, please."

"Well, I'm really enjoying your companies, guys, but I have a 'one year old' at home and a beautiful wife waiting for me. This is what I wish for you, Derek, for your birthday! I hope next year you'll have a wife waiting for you at home and a baby just like me."

"He wants a woman in the field with him!"

Everybody laughed by Reid's last statement.

Even Hotch wasn't there anymore. They ended the night singing Happy Birthday to Derek:

"Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to Derek

Happy birthday to you

Are you one? Are you two? Are you three?"

"Stop, stop, stop! I'll take zillion years to reach my age!"

They all laughed.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

At Emily's:

"Oh, my little Princess, Mommy was so worried about. Are you feeling better? I couldn't wait any longer to hold you, my sweetie."

The little girl hurried in reached out his little arms to her mother. Emily caught her and kissed her.

"Mary, thank you so much again. This week was so tough. I'll pay you for the extra hours of course"

"No problem, Emily. It's always a pleasure to stay with Anna. She's so adorable."

"Also, I'll be here for the whole weekend so I'll see you on Monday."

"Okay, if anything comes up, just gives me a call. I'll miss her."

Emily smiled.

"Okay, I will. Thank you."

Mary left. Emily locked the door and sat on the sofa with Anna facing her on her lap.

"Okay, sweetie, now it's just you and me for the whole weekend. What about us two spend these two days together all the time, huh? We can sleep together, do everything together. We can go to a park in the morning… we can go to the mall… we can do a lot of nice things together…"

Anna was ecstatic. She had no understanding of what her mother was saying, but she was so happy in Emily's arms, hearing her voice. She had missed her. The last case had kept Emily away far too long to her liking.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Next day, Chicago.**

It was around eleven a.m. when Derek entered his mother's house. He went straight to the kitchen.

"Hmm, I could smell this from the airport. The smell of your food is always unmistakable, Mama!"

He kissed her on the cheek.

"She started preparing this special chicken and sauce yesterday night."

"Yes, when she knows her 'baby' is coming to town, she starts to cook everything that you like, Derek."

"Ahh, you two, don't be jealous, I'll always be Mama's favorite. By the way: hello to you two too." Derek kissed both of his sisters.

"I only came to visit because of mama and her cooking, not to be bullied by you two girls."

"Derek, you're telling me you only come because of my cooking?"

"That's just how special your cooking is, Mama, but no, of course, I miss my family very much so."

Fran and Derek's sisters were finishing preparing lunch and setting the table.

"How are things at work, Derek?"

"Oh, well, horrible as always. We've a new agent now, well, she's been with us for few months now."

One of his sisters teased.

"Mmm, she?!"

Ignoring it, his mother was really interested to know more about the new agent.

"Is she nice?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's pretty nice. She's cool."

"Is she beautiful?"

His sisters weren't quite willing to stop provoking him.

Derek rolled his eyes. He bit an asparagus Fran was preparing for the salad.

"No, she's not beautiful. She's gorgeous!"

It was a like a 'field day' for Derek's sisters who started teasing him even more.

"A-ha! Now we know why Derek can't stop smiling."

"You have to give us the details!"

"What's her name?"

"What does she look like?"

"We want the full explanation here, Derek."

"Too bad we didn't keep that bet!"

"Derek would be our slaves all the times he's in Chicago."

"The curiosity will kill you both so I won't say a word!"

They talked a lot and teased him a lot, and they had great time having lunch and spending the day together as a family.

From time to time, Derek talked about the new agent, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Fran.

**Around midnight:**

Fran was going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She could see the light on in Derek's bedroom, the door was ajar. She pushed it just a little and saw him reading a book.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure, Mom."

"Having a hard time sleeping?"

Derek closed the book and cleared a place for her mother to sit on the bed.

"Derek, I've never seen you like this before, a mother intuition knows. There is something going on, it's like you're wearing your heart on your sleeve for all of us to see. I can see a peaceful feeling on your face. Your eyes are twinkling. Is there something you want to share?"

Derek broke the eyes contact for a while. Fran touched his hands.

"Only if you want to share, Derek."

"Mom, so far, I have nothing concrete to say. I'm still trying to figure out what to do! This feeling took me by surprise, messing with all my life. There's something really special about her. She's everywhere, in my head, my dreams, my heart, I think about her all the time."

"Does she know?"

"I don't know, I mean, I haven't say anything, we're just friends. It's hard! She doesn't seem to be opened to any kind of relationship. But I'd marry her tomorrow if she wanted to!"

"Just tell her how you feel, Derek, but don't rush things. She might want to take things slowly and you said you two are friends right now and that's always a great base for a relationship. Be honest with yourself, be honest with her, and have hope. If she is really the one, things will fall into place, at the right time. I promise."

"I know she's the one for me Mama, I can feel it! We had an immediate connection the first time we met. I won't let her slip through my fingers without a fight."

"That's my boy."

She patted him on the face.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

It was Sunday night already and Anna was peacefully sleeping upstairs in her crib. Emily was comfortably sitting on the sofa, shedding some tears over the emotional final scene of a movie she was watching on TV:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs. And someday you will meet a wonderful guy, and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told, implores us to wait for it. What we're not taught is how to read the signs: How to distinguish the ones who want us from the ones who don't. The one's who'll stay from the one's who'll leave. And ultimately, we're not taught the one thing that could save ourselves, our friends, our families of the countless hours of confusion, despair, and speculation: That, sometimes, the happy ending...is just... moving on."

She was wiping the tears with her hands when her cell phone rang.

"Prentiss."

"Emily, hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Is there a case?"

She was really worried since it was the first time Derek had called her during their days off.

"No, no, no cases."

"Oh, Thank God."

*Awkward moment of silence*

"So, what do you need?"

"I'm in your neighborhood and I, I was wondering if I could come over."

Of course she wasn't expecting this at all.

"Oh, Derek, actually, I was almost ready to bed."

Derek insisted because he knew how hard it was to have a moment at the BAU for personal talks. He was determined to open himself to her about his feelings.

"I'm parked in front of your building already. I won't be long."

She thought about it for a while. Since Anna was asleep she didn't see any harm in him coming over for a few minutes.

"Okay, Derek, you can come over."

She used the time it took Derek to get there to collect all of Anna's belongings and toys, and hide them in the bedroom. She then opened the door for him.

"Hey."

"Hey. I'm sorry to come over like that."

"Ah, no problem, Derek, come on in."

She showed him to the living room and took the remote control to turn the TV off.

"I was watching a movie."

"Oh, sorry, did I interrupt you? You can continue…"

"No, actually, it just ended."

She put the remote control on the coffee table.

*Moments of silence*

"Have a seat."

Derek sat on the sofa.

"Do you want to drink something? I don't have a bunch of options, but maybe water, coffee or tea? I can make a juice."

"Ah, no, Emily, thank you."

Well, he was here to do something.

"I just wanted to see you."

She blushed. "Ah."

She sat on the other sofa. She didn't know what to say or do. So she chose to ignore his statement.

"So, how was it at the bar, on Friday?"

"It was fun."

He took his cell phone and showed her some pictures of Friday night to her.

"We missed you there." He looked at her. "I missed you."

It was the second time in less than five minutes he had left her totally speechless. And Emily Prentiss wasn't the 'run out of words' type of girl. She always had an answer on the tip of her tongue, but not now. Well, she was the only one speechless, because little Anna had something to say.

The baby alarm was under some cushion on the sofa and Emily had totally forgotten about it.

Anna started crying and broke all the dense silence in the living room.

Emily, instantly, got up.

"Oh, Derek, I'm sorry, Excuse me."

She quickly climbed the stairs.

Derek got up, walking, thinking, trying to figure out what was going on. He took the cushion in his hands and saw the baby alarm. His first thought was that she, maybe, was babysitting, taking care of a baby for some friend.

But this thought quickly dissolved when he heard her through the baby alarm.

"Oh, sweetie, you woke up? Did you have a bad dream? No need to cry anymore, baby, Mommy is here. Shh, shh."

It was the sweetest thing Derek had heard in his life. He instantly realized he wanted this in his life. There were no words to describe how he felt right now. He was totally shocked and in a mix of doubts and happiness.

He was wondering if she was actually married. He began waiting for her husband to appear any time now. He didn't know what to think anymore. He was freaking out, walking around, nervous, until he saw Emily coming down the stairs with a baby in her arms.

He stopped walking totally paralyzed by the sweet scene. She approached him and looked at her baby.

"Hey, Princess, this is Derek. Say hi to Derek."

Derek was still holding his breath in total shock. Emily looked at him.

"This is Anna, she's my daughter."

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Hi guys! I want to clarify why Rossi is in the story. I know when Emily joined the BAU, it was Gideon and not Rossi that was there. But I think Gideon was never nice to Emily, so I don't like him. I prefer Rossi. So, in this story, I like to pretend that it was Rossi that was there already.**

**About the movie Emily was watching, I used a small part of the movie "He's not that into you", I just love this movie! I watched it like zillion times!**

**Also, I want to thank Lena, who is doing an excellent job in help me correcting my chapters and giving me excellent tips.**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I OWN NOTHING**

**====================/====================**

His first thought was "What the hell?" But he figured this wouldn't be the way to go to get some information. Knowing Emily's private personality, the best approach was patience.

After the initial shock left him speechless for a minute or two, Derek finally snapped out of it.

"Emily, I, I don't get it. Why didn't you tell us?"

Walking to the kitchen, Emily was holding a tired and cranky Anna in her arms, thinking about an acceptable answer.

"Derek, never before have I shared personal stuff with people from work. I'm not used to be friends with my co-workers. At first I didn't knew you guys that well. And now I just hadn't found the right time. I just wanted to protect her."

"Protect her?" "From us?"

She was trying to handle both the milk and an impatient Anna in her arms.

"No, not from you guys, I mean…" Pause. "Oh, Derek, I really don't want to talk about this, especially not now."

"Fair enough." He was obviously disappointed. "Why don't I hold her while you prepare this."

Emily momentarily turned the attention from the milk to her baby. The only thing she wanted was for him to go away so she wouldn't have to explain, but she knew that wasn't fair.

"Do you want to go with Derek, sweetie?"

Derek motioned to try to hold Anna, but the little girl was determined to stay comfortably in her mother's arms. She started fussing.

"Oh, sweetie, you don't need to cry, baby, Derek is our friend." She looked at Derek. "I'm sorry, she isn't really used to strangers."

"Okay then, maybe I can prepare the most delicious milk ever, and perhaps she'll start to see me through different eyes." He had his typical Derek Morgan smile on his face.

Emily smiled.

"For sure, I want to see the prowess of Derek Morgan preparing a baby bottle!"

"Oh, don't doubt me! You're going to be astonished by my baby bottle making talents!"

Derek struggled a bit to get the bottle ready but finally succeeded.

"Here you go, baby girl!" Holding the bottle to Anna. "Or maybe I can drink it." He was pretending to drink it. The girl laid her head on Emily's shoulder smiling shyly.

"Oh! I can a see a smile! Did I see a smile? And cute dimples like your Mama?" He tickled her belly with his free hand.

It didn't take more than half an hour for Anna to warm up to Derek's presence. While Emily was giving her the bottle, Anna could see her mother being friendly with that man whom she'd never seen in her life.

Derek then easily won her over as they interacted.

"She really likes you. She hasn't met a lot of people before. I thought she'd be scared of you, but why am I surprised? Derek Morgan can charm every single female on this planet, regardless of their age."

"I'll take this as a compliment." He smiled and winked at Emily.

"Derek, it's getting really late for her. If she doesn't go to bed she'll be cranky all day tomorrow. So, I think you should get going."

Derek was sitting on the floor, on the carpet, with Anna and her toys. He quickly got up, with the little girl in his arms.

"Okay, yeah, you're right. It was really nice to meet this little one here that I didn't realize how late it's gotten."

"No problem." Emily reached out to take Anna. "Come to Mommy, Derek needs to go now."

He followed Emily to the door and before leaving turned all his attention to little Anna.

"Good bye, my sweet angel. You're my new favorite friend. I'd love to get to know you more and plan on seeing you more often. This is not a good bye. This is a 'see you again". Derek kissed the girl on the cheek.

"So, see you tomorrow."

"Okay, good night."

"Good night."

He was starting to leave when she called his name. "Derek."

He turned back around. "Yes?"

She was afraid that he was mad at her. This whole situation was awkward.

"I know you have questions, and I'm really thankful you didn't push for answers tonight. I owe you some. So what do you say we discuss this tomorrow, at lunch maybe?"

"Yeah, I'd really like that, Em."

She let out a relieve sigh. "Great."

She gave him a warm smile. "Oh, and I know it's a lot to ask but... Could this stay between us for now? Please?"

"Yes, Emily, this can stay between us, for now. But you know the team would love her if they knew she exists."

"Thank you. Goodnight, Derek."

"Night."

**====================/====================**

Not too long after this, Emily was putting Anna to bed. The girl was sleeping as soon as she was laid down.

Once back in her bedroom, she sat on the bed thinking. She couldn't deny that Derek was handsome and she that felt some kind of connection to him. He was strong, smart and sexy, with a badge and gun. Her type. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh as if she could get rid of those thoughts.

She smiled remembering how easily he got Anna's attention and how happy she was playing with him on the floor, but the smile quickly disappeared when she thought about how unfair the whole situation was to little Anna. She deserved to interact with more people than just her and Mary.

She decided she had to tell the team about her. Sooner rather than later. At least, that was the plan.

With her head on the pillow, she closed her eyes. From that day on, Ian Doyle wouldn't be the only man on her mind before sleeping.

**====================/====================**

**Next day, at the BAU.**

They were gathered in the meeting room, waiting for Hotch to join them to present their new case. They were talking about their weekend.

"I went to see a great Sci-Fi meditation film. The original science fiction novel by the Polish author Stanisław Lem is about the ultimate inadequacy of communication between humans and other species. Tarkovsky's adaptation is a "drama of grief and partial recovery" concentrated upon the thoughts and the consciences of the cosmonaut scientists studying Solaris' mysterious ocean. Tarkovsky wanted to bring a new emotional and intellectual depth to the genre, since he viewed western science fiction as shallow. The ideas Tarkovsky tried to express in this film are further developed in Stalker and…"

They all rolled their eyes.

Rossi cut him off. "Kiddo, kiddo, please, it's only Monday. Take it easy."

"Agh, Rossi man, thank you for this."

"I was interested in what he was saying."

"I didn't know you were Sci-Fi fan, JJ?"

"Well, Derek, let's just say I have interest in a bit of everything."

"That's definitely a smart girl." Derek blinked at her.

Emily was listening to them while reading the file about the case they would work on.

"What about you, Morgan? How was your weekend in Chicago?"

"You know, JJ, it's always good to see my family. It was really nice."

They were about to pick up their files about the case.

"I met girl."

Everybody looked at Derek, including Emily. Her first reaction was a pinch in her heart, inexplicable for the moment.

"It's the most beautiful and sweet girl I've ever met. She has incredible blue eyes and brown hair, cute dimples when she smiles, and she smiles a lot! She makes me smile."

By this time Emily knew he was talking about Anna.

"I spend no more than an hour in her company but it was enough to make me fall for her. She is a real babe!"

They were all stupefied by Morgan's words.

"I definitely want to see her again."

Emily could not help but smile. It was a contained smile, almost unnoticed. She was the only one there that knew who he was talking about.

"I didn't think I'd live to see Derek fall in love. I'm glad I did!"

Before the rest of the team could say something to complement Rossi's last statement, Hotch joined them.

"What do we have?"

**====================/====================**

The next few days were spent intensely working on a case in Oregon. They never got a chance to talk about Anna and their lunch had to wait.

One week later, the team flew back in the morning. It was the perfect opportunity for them to talk. Derek approached her desk.

"Maybe we can finally have that lunch, today?"

She stopped writing and looked at him. "Yeah, it sounds good." She was hesitant. She really wasn't ready to give him answers, she probably never would. "I just need to finish these papers here."

"Okay. I'm ready when you are."

She turned her attention back to her paperwork, but in vain. She couldn't focus anymore, so after a few minutes, she closed the file and approached his desk.

"We can go now." She wanted this done sooner rather than later.

They went to a restaurant not too far from Quantico making small talk and chose a table.

"The food here is really good. I think you'll like it."

She forced a smile while opening the menu. After they ordered, she didn't have any excuses left to hide herself behind the menu.

_("Come on, Emily, you've never ran from anything!") _She thought to herself.

She looked at him staring at her. "Derek, I don't really know what to say, I mean, when I first joined the BAU, like I said before, I didn't know you guys at all, so I chose to keep my personal life private."

"Yeah I get that. But you've been with us for six months now."

"Yeah, I know, Derek, but after all this time, it just felt weird to come and say, "hey, I have a daughter." "But I do plan on telling them."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but Emily, we're a family, they'd love to meet Anna, especially Pen and JJ."

"I do want to tell them, and I'm going to. I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"Emily, doing this job, we spend more time in each other's company than with our blood family. We truly love and care about each other and this won't be different with you and Anna. I promise."

She bit her lips. "I know you're right, Derek. And I want Anna to be a part of that family. She deserves to have amazing people like you guys in her life. I'm sorry I haven't told you before. I'll let them know as soon as possible."

He smiled at her. The waiter brought the food. Emily thanked heaven. She was anxious to have to answer more questions. But Derek was still curious.

"So, were you married to her father? Or maybe you're still together?"

Emily almost choked on the food she was chewing.

By her reaction he realized it was a sensitive subject. If it bothered her it mean that it still mattered to her. Of course, he didn't like that. But he recognized he had pushed a bit too far. "Emily, I'm sorry, it's alright if you don't want to talk about him."

She wiped her lips with a napkin. "Derek, I was never married to her father. It was a relationship that ended in a bad way. That's all I want to say about him."

He still had some questions, but kept them to himself. He didn't want to ruin his relationship with her, no matter what said relationship was. He quickly redirected the conversation to something easier.

"Speaking of Anna, how's she?"

"Ah, she's great. She's starting to talk but of course she's not making a lot of sense! It's so adorable. I miss her so much when I'm away."

"You're doing just great, Emily. You know it's not how much time you spend with her that matter, but the quality of that time."

She let out a bitter smile. T

"Why this doesn't make me feel any better?"

This answer was never good enough for her.

Derek touched her hand on the table making her look at him. Her very first reaction was pulling her hand, but she stopped herself. They shared a tender look.

She slowly pulled her hand away.

"We better finish this lunch before Hotch comes looking for us."

She took her cutlery to finish eating. Derek observed her for a minute. He smiled.

"How are you eating this? Let me show you something."

He took the chicken thigh and started to eat it with his hands, and before long, he had his mouth greasy, smiling at her.

Emily laughed seeing this scene. "Derek, you better never do this in front my daughter. I already have trouble feeding her. She makes such a mess, and if you teach her to eat like this, trust me, you'll be the one cleaning her up."

**===========/=============**

**North Korea:**

Ian Doyle had been in jail for over a year now.

He was smart but one thing he was sure of was that Lauren Reynolds had died in a car accident. He had no clue she was very much alive and called Emily Prentiss and that he actually had a daughter with her.

He was lying on the bed of his cell, staring at the photo of Declan and Louise, dead, covered in blood. Tears of rage fell down his cheeks. They had given him those pictures to use them to torture him.

Emotional torture wasn't the only method they were using to gain information.

**===========/=============**

It was Wednesday morning. Emily was ready to go to work. She had gotten Anna ready for the day and given her a bottle.

It was 7:30 am. Mary usually always arrived before seven. Emily was starting to get worried when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Emily, it's me, Mary, I'm so sorry but I can't come to work today. Something happened to my father and I have to be with him, it's something with his heart. The doctors don't know yet. He's in the hospital."

"Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry. I... if you need anything, call me, please."

"Thank you, Emily, and I apologize again for letting you down at the last minute."

"It's alright. I can handle it. Let me know if you need something."

"I will. Thank you."

They hung up.

Actually it wasn't 'all good'. Emily had no idea where or with whom she would leave Anna so she could go to work. Her first thought was the Ambassador, but she was out of the country, again. She could leave Anna with her mother's employees, but she quickly disregarded the idea remembering about her own childhood and how awful it was to be stuck with them.

She was supposed to leave for work now. She decided to try and call some potential babysitters she knew. In the midst of all her outgoing calls, she missed a few calls from the team, who was getting worried about her not showing up.

At that point she was already late. Well, her daughter was her priority. So, she decided to ask Hotch for a day off.

She put Anna in her playpen and phoned him.

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, it's me, I'm sorry I missed your calls, I have a family emergency. I really need the day off."

"Prentiss, we all tried to call you!" He was annoyed. "You could have at least warned us that you were late. And no, you can't have the day off, we have a case, it's local but we're really going to need you linguistic skills. You'll have to find a solution to your emergency."

"But Hotch I..."

He cut her off. "Conference room in 30."

She was speechless. She had not expected this.

Well, he wanted her at the BAU, so at the BAU she was going to be. Good thing he hadn't specify that she had to come alone.

"Let's go, Love. Looks like you're finally going to meet the team."

**===========/=============**

It was way past 8 am and the BAU team along with Garcia was gathered in the meeting room for the briefing. They couldn't wait for Emily any longer.

JJ had finished presenting the case and they were talking about it when they all heard a few steps approaching and the sweet sound of a baby babbling.

Emily walked into the room and she wasn't alone.

**===========/=============**

**Thank you, Lena for the amazing corrections and tips.**

**Thank you all for reading and please, leave a comment. Any ideas for Demily start a romance?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey Guys, I'm really, really sorry for the delay in updating. It's because as you all know I have a new beta and she was kind of super busy lately. I promise by the end of the week I'll publish another chapter with demily moments, okay?**

**Thank you all so much for all the reviews and comments and for reading.**

**I OWN NOTHING. **

**====== / ======**

Emily stepped into the meeting room with Anna in her arms. Everybody stared at them making the little girl a bit shy in front of so many strangers.

JJ and Penelope were the first ones to approach them.

"Emily, who is this sweet little angel ?"

Anna was staring at Penelope. "Guys, meet Anna, my daughter."

"Daughter?!"

"I know, I'm sorry I kept her from you guys, I'll explain, I promise."

"You better explain yourself, young lady! You should be arrested for keeping this treasure from us! This should be a crime!"

Penelope was trying to make Anna smile while everyone got closer to them.

"Emily, she's adorable."

"Thanks, JJ."

"Can I hold her? Come to aunty Pen?"

Penelope reached out her hands to Anna, but the little girl was scared. She grabbed onto Emily's neck.

"Sorry, she's not used to strangers."

"Emily, congratulations ! It's great to have another BAU baby. Looks like Jack isn't the only one anymore."

"Thanks, Rossi."

"So this little cutie is the reason you could never hang out with us after work. Or maybe you still have another male reason at home ?" Reid inquired as JJ nudged him with her elbow.

"It's okay, JJ, and no, Reid, I don't have another reason at home. She's the only one."

Before Hotch could say something, Emily approached him.

"That's why, Hotch, I asked you for a day off. Her nanny couldn't come to work today. I tried a few other options but nothing worked so I had to bring her in."

"I had no idea, Emily. I never imagined you had… a daughter! Wow" I'm sorry but we really need you on this case."

Meanwhile, Penelope was trying to convince Anna to go with her, but the little girl didn't seem willing to leave her mother's safe embrace.

"Okay, okay, guys, you all should know that it takes a "Derek Morgan smile" to gain attention from a special and adorable baby like that."

And he was able to make Anna smile at him. It was a shy smile, still lying on her mother's shoulder. "You see guys, she's smiling at me."

Derek tickled her belly, making her smile even more. It was probably because she knew Derek already. But no one knew about that.

"You think you can make it, I mean, for this case ? We need your language expertise. You can stay here at the BAU at all time."

"Well, if her staying here too isn't a problem, then yes."

"Good. Let's get to work."

"I just need someone to pick up her stroller in the car."

"I can do it."

"Thanks, Derek."

The team went to the local police station in charge of the case while Penelope, Anna and Emily stayed in Quantico.

It didn't take long for Anna to be totally comfortable in Penelope's presence and she didn't even cry when Emily had to leave the 'lair' for a moment. The little girl was very well behaved in her stroller.

**====== / ======**

_**A few hours later.**_

"So little baby, those blue eyes must be from your Daddy huh?" She looked at Emily when asking this, indicating that the question was for her.

Emily was working on some translation related to the case. She stopped to look at Garcia.

"Pen, yes, it's from her father but it's all I have to say about him. Please don't ask me anything about it."

For someone like Penelope, Emily's answer was kind of harsh.

"Pen, I'm sorry, it's just that… I really can't talk about him. He doesn't even know about her. It's just the two of us."

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Emily. But you kept her from us, which was your right, but your whole life seems to be a mystery, which is also your right, but we're your friends. We want you and Anna to be a part of our family and it's sad if you don't want to."

"I want to, Pen, I really do. I totally trust you guys. I just didn't know you all that well at first."

"Okay, I get it." She stayed silent for a few seconds. "By the way, I want to be the first babysitter you call when you need to go out."

"I appreciate it, Pen, but I rarely go out without her unless it's for work. I don't think I ever did! But I'll keep that in mind."

"My guts tells me that this might change soon." Emily looked at her confused. "And my guts never fail me."

At that moment, Derek called Penelope for something related to the case and they talked for a bit about it while she was searching on her computer.

"Okay, baby girl, thank you again you're the best."

"I certainly am." She smiled.

"Hey, baby girl, how's our other baby girl doing?"

Seeing Emily's reaction, Penelope couldn't let it pass. "Mother or Daughter?"

Derek was referring to Anna, but now he was kind of confused. "Both."

"They're in good hands!"

"I don't doubt that, baby girl." They hung up.

Every time her work allowed it, Penelope stopped to play a little with Anna. The little girl was very comfortably seated on Penelope's lap, wanting to type something on the keyboard.

"Hey, hey, sweetie angel, you can pluck out my hair, but you can't touch this okay? By touching any keys here you might turn on some missiles and we don't want to start a World War, do we?

Anna babbled some unintelligible sounds.

"Yeah, that's right. We can go to my place and make a real mess there."

Emily smiled. She was happy seeing how good Penelope was dealing with Anna and especially how she was making her laugh.

**====== / ======**

**At the end of that day.**

The whole team was back at the BAU after having worked on the case the whole day.

"Prentiss, thank you so much for staying here with Anna. I think you can go home now."

"Not a problem, Hotch."

Anna was very comfortable with all of them now, Penelope, Reid, Rossi, JJ, especially with Morgan.

"We're going to continue working on this case tomorrow but if you have trouble with the nanny again, you can stay home and we'll call if we need something."

"Okay, Hotch. Thank you. I think tomorrow she'll come. Well, I'm going home, then. I think this little one here has never spent so many time away from home."

She took Anna from JJ's arms.

"I'll help you with the stroller."

"Thanks, Derek. I really appreciate this."

Everybody kissed and played with little Anna before Emily and Derek went to the elevator.

**=====/=====**

**In the BAU parking lot.**

Derek folded the stroller and put it in the trunk of Emily's car

"Alright. You, little Princess, time to say good-bye to Uncle Derek here, welcome to our BAU family. You really brought a lot of happiness to all of us today, I'm going to miss you, and I hope to see you again soon."

Anna reached out her little arms to him. Derek more than quickly held her in his arms, kissing her on the cheek.

"Good night, little Princess."

He looked at Emily.

"It was a good decision for you to bring her here to meet the team."

"Hotch didn't leave me any other option. But I'm glad they finally know about her."

"She seemed to be very comfortable with us."

Emily let out a sign of relief. "Yeah." She said nothing more, indicating that she wanted to go home. Derek's presence was giving her some feelings that she didn't want to analyze now, especially when it was just the two of them.

"Anything you need, you can call me."

"Thanks, Derek. I really need to go now."

She took Anna from Derek's arms and put her in the baby seat in the back of the car and closed the door. Before she could enter the car, she heard him.

"Emily."

She looked at him.

He seemed to have given up on what he was going to say, changing it to a simple: "Drive safely."

She forced a smile. "I will."

**==== / ====**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I OWN NOTHING**

**===== / =====**

"_Of all women who have kissed me, of all the women who have hugged me, I don't remember, I know nothing about them… There were so many women in love with me. There were so many women I've been with… But you, what a huge contrast, you, who I never kissed, you, who I've never been with, only you, are in my thoughts."___Derek couldn't help but stop to think about Emily after having read this poem in the book he was reading.

_**Emily's Appartment**_

"Hello?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"No, I still need half an hour or so."

"Okay, I'm coming up, then."

"A… you're here?"

"Parked in front of your building."

"Derek, you didn't have to."

"I'm already here."

She sighed. "Okay."

Anna was now 1 year and 6 months old. Emily opened the door for him to enter and Anna ran to greet him.

"Ohhhh my little Princess, look at you, you're the cutest baby in the world."

He took the happy baby in his arms, playing with her. Anna was getting too attached to him, and someone was getting really worried about it.

"Derek, since you came up, could you help me with the stroller ? I'll take care of her."

"Sure."

They were getting out of the building when she remembered something.

"Oh, Derek, we can't take your car. I need a baby car seat."

"Don't you think I planned everything?"

As much as she was touched by this, she was also even more worried.

Derek opened the back door of his SUV and there was a baby car seat. He took Anna from Emily's arms and put the girl inside the car, securing the seatbelt.

"Please, don't tell me you bought this especially for her?"

He closed the door of the car and looked at her.

"Yes, I did."

They shared a look, and Derek didn't make any point in hiding anything. Emily was too confused to talk about this now, so it became an other addition to the list of things they would have to talk about at some point.

**===== / =====**

_**At JJ's house**_

"My gold haired angel! JJ, look at this. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Yup..."

"Ooooh, my head is spinning. I'm going to start planning this wedding right now. We have to make a huge party, with a lot of people. I can see her wearing a beautiful dress with a big veil and a flower wreath, and my Chocolate God in a perfect suit. He's so handsome I might marry him myself…"

Penelope was getting too excited just seeing Emily and Derek arriving together with little Anna in her stroller.

"Pen, Pen, shh… life isn't as colorful as you think."

The trio finally approached the two blondes.

"JJ, happy birthday! This is for you."

"Thank you, Emily! You didn't have to."

"I hope you like it."

It was JJ's birthday and all the team was at her house for a small celebration. It was the perfect opportunity for little Anna to meet Jack who was almost the same age.

The friendship among the BAU women was getting stronger over the time. While they were talking, Derek was playing with Anna and Jack in the beautiful garden.

"So, do you still talk to her father? Is he from here?"

Emily looked at Pen and then at JJ. "No, JJ, he doesn't know about her, and I'd prefer not to talk about this."

"Okay, well, we're here if you ever want to share."

Emily felt so uncomfortable. "JJ, it's complicate for me to talk about him. I did love him, but it's in the past and things didn't end well between us. He doesn't live in America. It's best for us to keep things like they are now."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Thankfully, Penelope always knew how to ease a situation. "Speaking of men, that one right there definitely is my type of man… strong, athletic, charming, and courageous. And with a perfect body."

Emily knew about the flirting between Garcia and Morgan but she hadn't realize that they were in a relationship. "You and him ? You're … I didn't…"

"Breathe, Emily, Penelope's type is exactly the opposite of Derek. She likes them with glasses, computer technical genius skills like her, and only speaking java computer languages. They flirt but it's all harmless brotherly and sisterly flirting."

"What about you, JJ? …And that detective? LaMontagne, right?"

"Yeah. We've been talking but both of our schedules keep us busy all the time, and the fact that we live so far away from each other doesn't help."

"Yeah, it must be hard."

"Oh, you two are so dramatic and keep making excuses to not fall in love. I'm dying to organize a wedding party! I only hope you two don't choose the same month to get married because I want to prepare a big party for both of you and separately!"

Emily and JJ shared a look and laughed.

They were talking when Anna started crying. Emily freaked out for a second, but before she could approach Anna she saw that Derek was already taking care of her.

"Shh, shh… you're okay, little Princess."

"What happened, Derek?"

"She fell. You know kids at this age, they fall a lot, Emily, don't worry, this was nothing. She fell on the grass. It was mostly the shock. You see, she already stopped crying."

Anna was in Derek's arms, her head lying on his shoulder, while he was caressing her on the back. She seemed so comfortable with him that Emily quit the impulse to take her from him.

"Do you want to go with Derek to see the beautiful aquarium JJ has inside in the living room?"

The little girl nodded enthusiastically despite her teary eyes.

Emily observed them walking away. She couldn't help but think of how he'd be the perfect father for her. Could fate be so kind to her after all she went through? No, she was Emily Prentiss! Life has never been that easy.

====== / ======

_**Weeks later**_

The team was working on a case away from Quantico. They normally didn't have much time for themselves but since they had been working days and nights in a row, they had a break for the night to rest in the hotel. Emily and JJ were sharing a room, just like Rossi and Hotch, and Reid and Morgan.

Since they were in Vegas, Reid went to spend the night with his mother, leaving Morgan alone in his room. He was on his bed when he heard someone knocking on the door.

He went to open, not really surprised by the person on the other side "Hey."

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Sure"

He closed the door after behind her.

"Derek, I'm going to go straight to the point. This has to stop. We can be friends but nothing more. I can't have any kind of relationship with any man. I don't want this. The only thing I want is to take care of my baby and dedicate myself to her and to my work which take a lot of my time already. I need things to be clear here. Please, you have to stop making every single one of your actions look like you want to marry me because it can't happen. I'm talking not only for me and Anna but for you too. Trust me, I'm not a safe place for you. I love seeing you and Anna worships you but this is going too far. I do feel something strong for you and how could I not? You're wonderful person, you're sweet, strong and everything that any woman could dream. And my little girl adores you as much as I do. I know you care about us too but this cannot go any further. So it's best we just be friends only, please try to understand. For both of our sanities, this has to stop."

"Do I have any choice in what I want for my future, or who I want in it?"

"You do, as long as they want you too and they're the right choice."

"Again, who gets to decide this?"

"Derek, don't make things more complicated than they have to be. I don't want to tie you down and see you have resentment towards us for holding you back from your freedom. It would hurt my baby girl and I can't take the risk of her getting hurt."

"Okay, you came in here and said everything you wanted to. Now, it's my turn. You saying I'll be resentmentful towards you for holding me back is all bullshit because the only resentment I have right now is with you throwing away something potentially beautiful between us. You said you're worried about Anna being hurt by me, how about you hurting Anna by denying her what we can have? I really like her and I'd love her like my own and I know Anna could feel the same way about me. You're just throwing away our potential happiness by telling me to stop this. But I'll respect your decision."

"I'm sorry, Derek. It has to be this way."

He opened the door for her to get out.

**======== / ========**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Guys, this chapter must have errors, my Beta has been really busy lately. Sorry. I tried my best.**

**I OWN NOTHING**

**========== / ==========**

For the next two months, Emily worked even harder in fortify the walls she built for her and Anna, a deep and mighty fortress, that none could ever break. Keeping herself safe from everything and everyone that could cause pain. She knew relationships could cause pain.

She programmed herself to not think or talk about love, and to always keep in mind that if she had never been in love, she'd never have cried. She focused only on work, and Anna, and jumping into books to protect herself from break down every single night when she went to bed alone in the safe shelter in her bedroom, shielded in her armor, where none could touches her in no way.

The only thing could bring her smiles and laughs was Anna. The little girl was now almost two (one year, eight months), so she was talking much more, at least trying, always adorable.

During these same two months Derek had talked to her only about work when he had no other choice. Everyone at the BAU had to get used to this new version of him, introspective, thoughtful. But this was not him at all.

**========== / ==========**

It was a Saturday night and he was driving randomly. Thinking about how harsh he was behaving towards Emily lately. He needed this time, but deep down he wanted to fix things with her, at least for a friendship, so he decided to call her at home.

He tried for two times and nothing. She wasn't home. It was around ten at night of a Saturday. He knew it'd take a very good reason for her to not be at home, since it was raining so hard and so cold temperature with a baby.

He decided to call her cell phone. After two or three beeps a choked voice answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Emily, what's wrong?"

"It's Anna. We're in the hospital."

"W-what? What happened?"

"I don't know, yet. She has a fever and she's vomiting. They're checking on her now."

"Which hospital are you in?"

He went to the Hospital and found Emily in a room. Anna was lying on a stretcher, sleeping. Emily was caressing her on the head. He approached her. "How is she?"

"They gave her some medicines to cut the fever and the vomit that's why she's sleeping. But I have to wait for the results of the tests." She was fighting back tears,

"Maybe it's something she ate, Emily."

"I called Mary and asked about it and nothing."

"Don't worry too much right now, I know it's hard, but let's try to stay positive, and wait for the results."

He could see it didn't make her feel any better. He took her hand and squeezed it.

Even after a long time, she couldn't take her eyes out of Anna. Derek could see a tear coming down her face. He wiped it off.

Of course she knew her daughter was a healthy little girl, and that it probably wasn't anything serious, but she had been holding a big pressure for a long time. Although since Anna was born she had been trying hard to start a new life, she knew she had a big 'baggage' from a past she wanted to forget, so hard to bear every day. Sometimes she panicked knowing that this little human being was totally dependent on her, she could no longer afford to have their emotional crisis and wreck herself in a bottle of wine or something stronger. She had no escape. She was always at the point of break down, as if every little unpleasant fact in her life was the drop that was needed to break her down, but she couldn't.

Finally, after a long wait, doctor entered the room. Even before he could say something, Emily asked. "What wrong with her?"

"You did the right thing bringing her tonight, otherwise it' turn into a strong pneumonia. She has a bad case of flu. I'll prescript some medications, antibiotics, for her and she'll be okay in two or three days."

Emily felt like all the weight of the world left her shoulders now.

"Oh, God, thank you."

Not too much time after this, they were in the lobby of the hospital.

"Give me the keys. I'll take your car. It's raining hard."

Derek brought Emily's car in front of the door of the hospital so she didn't have to walk in the rain with Anna in her arms.

He opened the back door and put Anna on the baby seat. Emily closed the door of the car to protect Anna from the cold.

"Derek, thank you so much for being here."

"Not so soon, Emily. I'll drive you home."

"But… your car is here."

"No worries. You can go in the backseat with her just in case she wakes up. I'll drive you."

========== / ==========

Emily put Anna in her crib. The little girl was peacefully sleeping as they had given her strong medicines. Emily took the baby alarm and went downstairs.

"Derek, thank you again, I mean, on a Saturday night and you're here in this… not nice situation. You can take my car and tomorrow we see what we can do."

"I'm not going anywhere, Emily. I'll spend the night right here." He pointed to the couch. "Just in case you need something, I mean, I hope not, but just to make sure everything will be okay."

"Derek, you don't have to."

"Only bring some blankets if you don't want me to turn into a popsicle."

"Are you sure?"

"There's no place in the world I'd rather be, Emily."

She bit her lips, typical.

Five minutes after this she was there bringing a blanket. He was sitting on the couch taking off the shoes.

"Here…"

She was about to break down anytime and of course the expert Derek realized it. "Come here."

He patted on the couch. She hesitated a little. He took her cold hands and kissed them. Then, he put her into a big hug.

"It's totally okay you cry sometimes, Emily. But I'm sure she'll be okay. I'll be here all the way. You're not alone and you'll never be. I promise."

A little comforted by his words, she knew that things weren't so simple like that. She wished Lauren Reynolds was someone she had lived in another life, or that by some kind of magic or miracle she could just delete this period of her life because this was still haunting her every single night when she put her head on the pillow and she was trying to deny.

Not mention that the most precious thing she had in her life was also the main thing connecting her with she was in the past and keep it very much alive in her. But it wasn't today Derek would know about this, and if it was up to her, he'd never know.

Without breaking the hug, he started to caress her on the hair. He started to talk about funny things and make her smile a little and relax.

Few hours later, the sun was already rising, Emily started to move. She woke up and quickly realized she was on Derek's arms, still on the couch. She pulled away from him a little. "Derek, oh God, I'm sorry, I-I just… I fell asleep, I'm sorry."

She got up from the couch far from him. He also got up, but approaching her again.

"Emily, there's nothing wrong with this."

He eased a hand against her cheek. More than anything in his entire life, he wanted to kiss her. He knew this kiss could be a divisor in his life and he was more than ready for this. He was hovering above that line now, a few inches from her face, her mouth, sharing the same air, conversing only through their eyes. The hesitation was there from both sides but it quickly evaporated when he touched his lips on hers.

And just like says the Chinese Proverb, "Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases", the touch of their lips became a deep, wet and long kiss. But, as she was Emily Prentiss and she couldn't allow herself to just enjoy the moment, she broke the kiss.

"Derek, we can't do this!" She pulled away from him.

"Why?" The disappointment was on his face.

"Things are going too fast and I have more than myself to think about that's Anna. I can't focus on anything else at this time but her. Plus, we work together as partners and if we mess things up it could end up disastrous for both of us."

"Emily, I-I really like you."

She cut him off.

"Derek, please, I-I need you to leave. I need to process all of this. Thank you so much for yesterday. Thank you for your time and for being with us, for your support. You've been a very good friend, but I need to be alone right now. I need to check on Anna. I need to think. I'm sorry."

It was obvious for Derek she was freaking out because of the kiss. She just needed space to think and he'd do this.

He let out a heavy sigh. "Okay."

He sat on the couch to put on his shoes. He also fixed the shirt into the pants, and put on the jacket. She was standing, arms crossed, impatiently waiting, biting her lips.

He followed her to the door. She opened the door to him. Before he could leave he looked at her. "Bye"

"Bye, Derek." She could barely look at him.

She locked the door and leaned against it thinking about the kiss and the last happenings. It was when she remembered Derek was on foot as he had left his car at the hospital. It was very early morning still of Sunday to get a cab so easily on the streets. She'd offer her car to him but it was too late. When she opened the door he wasn't there anymore.

**========== / ==========**

"**_The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender._"- Emil Ludwig**

**Thanks for reading.**


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